Stitch Fix #1
August 28, 2018
I posted something on Facebook about getting my first Stitch Fix, because Clay was funny. And then my friends HOUNDED me to let them see pictures. So mean. Somehow this seems like a safer place to post these pictures than Facebook, because I haven't posted anything here for almost 11 months, so nearly no one will see this, while I'm Facebook friends with my priest, so.
Disclaimer: I have no makeup on here. I'm not deathly ill, that's just how I look without makeup. Also, I worked out this afternoon and I just took a so-I-don't-stink kind of shower, but I didn't fix my hair, so that's why. Basically, if I had made an effort you would hardly be able to look at me for my stunning-ness, but that's not how this event came together. (Note: I opted for the exact opposite approach to beautiful women, where they do all the things to look stunning, then say they look terrible. THIS way is way less work.)
Okay, first picture. I kept the purse because I have a problem with purses. I want them all. All of them. This is a cross-body bag with intriguing pockets, and it's cuter than it looks. I think. I have a problem.
The dress is not ON my body (simmer down, Lisa!) because I wanted to show how pretty it is that way. Oh, I wanted to love this dress. I love the style, the print, the length. But oh, is it disappointing when it is on my actual body.
And here it is. Don't say I didn't warn you.
RIGHT? Oh, so disappointing. Also, Sophia was taking these pictures, and as she took this one, she said "Oh, and I will be SURE not to get your feet in the picture," so now I'm wondering what's wrong with my feet.
Moving on.
I got a pair of jeans, which I am keeping, and now I'm realizing that I don't really have a good picture of the jeans, but they're good and I don't have to go buy them because they are right here, which are two qualities I adore in jeans. Also, here is a shirt that I am not keeping, because I'm not crazy about the color, and it doesn't look bad here, but I'm sucking in my stomach like crazy, so. Also, the high scoop neck gives me enormous boob shelf, which is something I try not to do. It frightens small children.
Finally, there's a sleeveless top that has a cute print on the back, but meh. It's almost September, and I'm not buying a sleeveless top. Then Sophia took pictures, and I was completely horrified. It truly looks awful on me. Please enjoy my farmer's tan. Look for my YouTube channel about how to effortlessly look stunning.
So bad. I'm also wondering why I chose such a weird place to take these pictures. Please look for my lifestyle blog, coming soon.
There you go, you relentless hounds, you! Stitch Fix #1! And now you know....the REST of the story.
EDITED!
Okay, fine, I didn't want to post the bad picture, because of how bad it is. But THIS IS THE FRONT of the sleeveless shirt.
You're sorry now, aren't you?
Okay I have too many favorite parts of this post to list them, because when you get to favorites parts that are CONSECUTIVE SENTENCES you know you have too many favorites. Like:
1. "Basically, if I had made an effort you would hardly be able to look at me for my stunning-ness, but that's not how this event came together."
AND
2. "I opted for the exact opposite approach to beautiful women, where they do all the things to look stunning, then say they look terrible."
Just for example. So I love the yellow-striped top, but I know what you mean about clothes that look nice in pictures but not in real life. I had a two-piece pink suit dress like that: in the photo I looked BOSS, but when I wore it in person no one could deny the effect was...different.
I agree the dress is disappointing, but I think it's disappointing on the hanger, too. On you I would call it "serviceable": I have a couple dresses like that, where they are not particularly flattering but nor are they terribly unflattering, so They'll Do in a pinch. Depending on price I might advise keeping that one in a pinch.
But gurl. That sleeveless top is boss. I think you should keep it. It's BOSS. Look how cute your butt looks! Like, I will believe you if you say it's not as good in person, especially if the front is not as cute. But in the photo it's GREAT. And the color is so good on you, and I love the pattern. And you are seeing your arm, but no one else is seeing your arm (which looks totally fine, but I know I always feel my arm is Not Good in photos, so I am empathetic); they are seeing the pretty shirt. KEEP IT is my vote, even if you return EVERYTHING ELSE.
This is so much fun. I loved this. Get lots more boxes.
Posted by: Swistle | August 28, 2018 at 07:21 PM
WHAT IS IT ABOUT LARGE FLORAL PRINTS? YES! I AM SHOUTING! Because they look lovely IN THEORY, but in reality they were meant to be curtains. I heart totes adorbs love the sleeveless top. Seriously. It’s really freakin cute. And so are you. But if if it costs $69, you can probably find one similar at Target. Thumbs down on the mustard stripe top. Unless you have a gig as mime somewhere soon. If you do have a gig as a mime, you can borrow one of my many striped boatneck tops.Because I never I never have shelf boob. I get shelf butt.
Posted by: Jessica | August 28, 2018 at 07:51 PM
Okay, FINE! I added a picture of the front of the sleeveless shirt. Youll see. Oh, youll see (she said, darkly).
Also, HI HI HI, Swistle!
Posted by: Kira | August 28, 2018 at 08:00 PM
Hurray, hurray, a blog post from Kira! More soon, please!
Posted by: Jamie | August 28, 2018 at 08:09 PM
The front of that sleeveless shirt is horrid! You look great, and you rocked it. But why would they do that to that poor top? Love your comments and photos! You are adorable inside and out!
Posted by: Linda Sherwood | August 29, 2018 at 06:43 AM
Can't believe that you are back! You are as evasive as your beutiful friend Mir!
I was so dissapointed in the front of teh sleveless top. What a dissapointing colour when the front is so pretty and bright! You look great by the way.
Posted by: AlisonC | August 29, 2018 at 08:20 AM
The front of that sleeveless top looks like it inside out or something. Just weird! I wouldn’t keep it either.
Posted by: Katherine | August 30, 2018 at 10:50 PM
This is why your posts are so good. You are hilarious. You write so well. WRITE MORE. POST MORE. On any topic. We'll read it.
Posted by: Rose | September 01, 2018 at 06:15 AM