Twenty minutes and counting
March 14, 2013
Last week I got my hair cut, and I may have made a terrible mistake. I got bangs. Not blunt, choppy, I-think-I'm-an-art-student bangs, but your standard issue sideswept kind. I don't know what happened, exactly. My hairdresser brought up the idea, then warned me that it would take a little time commitment. She knows who she's talking to, because my entire hair styling routine is this: rub random hair product into wet hair. Comb. Aim a blow dryer with diffuser at hair. Continue until bored. Wander away.
It's that "until bored" part that gets me in trouble. In case you know me in the real world, that's why my hair sometimes looks like wet octopus tentacles, and other times like I'm ready for a return of the 80s.
Anyhow, I figured even a doubling of my hair styling commitment couldn't be all that bad, ratcheting the time required up to something like six minutes. Plus, every woman knows that sideswept bangs shave AT LEAST a good twenty minutes off your age. Which, if you're (this woman) in your 30s, sounds like crazy talk. I would have to own a flat iron for TWENTY MINUTES? But by the time you're, oh, say, 41 years, eleven months and three weeks old, you think, "twenty WHOLE minutes, you say?"
So I did it, and so far so good. I haven't laid down on the floor in despair rather than style my stupid bangs even one morning since. I just can't decide if they make me look twenty minutes younger or just sort of pitiful.
I will tell you this: the day after The Bangs were cut, I flew out to Phoenix with Sophia. Max and Raphi were already there for Grandma Camp with their cousins, Maggie and Shyla. Together, the four of them are The Orphans, and they spend a week each spring hanging out with Clay's mom, Connie (who is the best mother-in-law in the world, and I am told also an amazing grandmother). Anyhow, this year Sophia came out for a partial Grandma Camp, and I accompanied her as her assistant or something. MY POINT HERE is that when I arrived in Phoenix, Raphael did not recognize me. He walked right toward me, scanning faces intently. I waved at him, but he very nearly walked right by me. So I can say authoritatively that I look different.
In other news, we are recovering from a round of stomach flu. And sister, it's a BAD ONE. I cannot remember being so violently ill. We got home Wednesday, and Max started throwing up that night. Tre was supposed to be getting his wisdom teeth out Friday, but I moved it back three weeks, just in case he gets this horrible horrible thing. The oral surgeon thinks I'm crazy, but I can live with that. Because can you imagine? Puking on a brand-new wisdom tooth extraction? Actually, I did that when I got my wisdom teeth out, because it turns out that tylenol with codeine is not a happy thing for me. So I don't have to imagine, I KNOW that I'm not going to take that chance.
Hmmm. It seems like I was headed for a point here, and now I don't know what it was. I guess I can sum it up like this: sideswept bangs - still not sure, but they're better than the stomach flu.
Word.
I HAVE BEEN CONSIDERING THE 20-MINUTE BANGS.
I'm so undecided. The main strike against them at this point is someone telling me the bangs are super annoying in windy/rainy weather. Also, I HATE stuff touching my face, which I suppose is a strong point against bangs. But! They look so great on people! What to do.
Posted by: Swistle | March 15, 2013 at 04:34 AM
Picture? Where is the pretty picture?
Posted by: Sheryl | March 15, 2013 at 05:33 AM
I caught the subtle information that your birthday is coming. I think for your birthday you should give us a present - another blog entry. Let the nagging commence.
Posted by: M/Amma | March 15, 2013 at 06:09 AM
I got sideswept bangs yesterday. They are a teeny bit shorter than I wanted, but they are OK. I don't know if they cause extra styling time because I haven't yet styled them.
I am so impressed that you use the diffuser that came with your hair dryer.
Posted by: Linda Sherwood | March 15, 2013 at 07:39 AM
Picture, please. With or without kids. But will need to see the actual bangs, so you must be visible in photo.
Posted by: Holly Gault | March 15, 2013 at 08:49 AM
Yep - photo needed!
Posted by: Amy | March 15, 2013 at 02:48 PM
I love your new bangs!..I feel horrible I never mentioned it to you when I saw you(but I did think about it!)Maybe it was that evil "dollar store" flu we had that took over my brain!
Posted by: Jilly | March 15, 2013 at 10:58 PM
HAPPY! BIRTHDAY!
Happy...bangsday?
Posted by: Joshilyn | March 16, 2013 at 07:27 AM
Hi Kira. I am in Arvada. I would love to talk to you more about the area and maybe meet up sometime. Would you mind emailing me? stephanie g 711 at gmail dot com.
Posted by: Stephanie | March 20, 2013 at 10:17 PM