Enough of this joy-filled optomism, let's get to complaining
Sophia these days

Axe wielding maniacs

This morning Max and Raphael were downstairs, hard at work on a project. They wanted to make a commercial, they said. They just didn't know what the commercial should be about. I passed Max's room as they sat on the floor, listlessly throwing Pokemon cards at one another, which is apparently the preferred method of breaking through a creative block.

"Why don't you make a commercial about something you like?" I asked. As I walked back up the stairs, I heard Max say with great enthusiasm, "Yeah! Like AXE!"

Are you familiar with Axe body spray? If you answered "no," you probably don't have teenaged boys. Axe is a body spray that seems to be laced with some sort of mind-altering substance that only affects adolescent boys. When they spray it, you or I might sniff and say "DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT STENCH?" but an adolescent boy inhales the same bouquet and sighs, "The only thing better that THAT is another gallon of THAT."

Max and Tre are both firmly held within the thrall of Axe. They each have their own preferred scent, and a list of rules from me about the stuff. "It is not a weapon. I shall not come in contact with flame under any circumstances. And for the love of all that is good and right, GO EASY on the stuff. Retain just a smidge of olfactory mystery."

Raphael, being pre-pubescent-poisoning, does not quite understand the siren call of the Axe, but he knows his brothers love the stuff, and that's good enough for him.

And so the two of them set to work on their Axe commercial. Soon I heard snippets of their script floating up the stairs.

"Do your pits stink? Do you want to freshen them up? Think about it - do people run out of the room when you raise your arms?"

I was in the kitchen, putting together a package and fighting with Sophia, who was struggling valiantly to free items from the package, based upon the reasoning that they were pretty and she wanted them. And I have to confess that I was amused by what I was overhearing of the boys' efforts. But that was before I realized that their words weren't the only thing floating up the stairs.

"What the - OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, STOP SPRAYING THAT STUFF!" I shrieked, waving futilely at the cloud that had suddenly enveloped me.

"But we have to do lots of takes for our commercial!"

"I don't care! PRETEND to spray it! That's why it's called ACTING!"


Some day, eventually, I'm sure this infatuation with Axe will wane. And eventually, maybe, in the days after, the stench of it will clear out of the nooks and crannies of my home. Until that day I'll be here, reminding myself how quickly they grow up. And opening a window.


Karate Mom

"...Think about it - do people run out of the room when you raise your arms?" I LOVE IT!
When they were kids, my brother and one of his friends wanted to be filmmakers, so they practiced making movies with my dad's video camera, complete with stunts and makeup and everything. Those videos are SO MUCH FUN to go back and look at! (Side note: one time, they cracked the windshield of his friend's parent's car doing a stunt!)


I don't think we have Axe in the UK, but we do have Lynx and your post reminds me of why I insisted on ROLL-ONS ONLY IN MY HOUSE!!!


Liz sprayed me with some of this sh...cr...uh...stuff at the store one day - we had to go straight home, my clothes had to go straight into the wash, I had to take a shower and she got the lecture of her life. Yuck!

Now that said - I would absolutely love a commercial in which the pitchman asked me if my pits stunk. Your boys are brilliant.


I used to work in the school cafeteria, and the middle school had lunch after PE. The boys wouldn't shower, but instead sprayed themselves with Axe. Liberally. Try 40 boys per each of 6, 7 and 8 grades, reeking of different scents of Axe. And BO. Don't forget the BO.


My girls are only 5. Thank God that I don't yet have to deal with their "fragrances" because I only tolerate fruity scents. Flowery ones give me a headache!


Ugh! I hate to be needy, but I need recent pictures of Sophia! It's been like 2 weeks!! :-) Two more weeks til kindergarten, and then I'll really be mental.


Well, at least they understand what the stuff is for! And little girly won't have to have stinky brothers I spose!

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