This is why there is too much stuff in my house.
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In Which We All Nearly DIE.

I was standing at the sink, scrubbing potatoes. I remember like it was...four hours ago.

Because it was.

Anyhow, there I was, scrubbing potatoes, talking to Clay as he walked a grumpy Sophia. The oven was pre-heating, waiting for the potatoes. I glanced over my shoulder and saw a GLOW from within the oven. I dropped my potato.

"OH!" I said helpfully, "OH OH OH! It's ON FIRE IN THERE!"

AND IT WAS. Specifically, the heating element on the floor of the oven seemed to be burning like the wick of a cartoon character's bomb. It sizzled and smoked and flamed. I, being a cool-headed mother of many, jumped up and down and squeaked and pointed at it.

"Huh," said Clay, "that's not good."

I opened and closed and open and closed the door of the oven and jumped up and down some more. Clay went outside and turned the power off to the oven. So between the two of us we got it taken care of.

Then I called my parents and generously offered to let them feed us dinner. I knew they'd be happy to, since we had just been SNATCHED FROM THE JAWS OF A FIERY DEATH and plus our oven was non-functioning.

And they were. They brought over many pizzas, and we huddled around the kitchen table and ate, GRATEFUL to have survived.

Clay seems to think I am overstating the danger somewhat. I say he's in denial.

"Thank you for saving all our lives," I told him.

"Your parents saved our lives," he replied. "They brought us food."

See what I mean? Denial.

But I know. I understand the reality of it all. I know tonight is a night to hold my dear ones closer, to CHERISH all I have, and to ponder the important questions.

Like - how do I get out of making dinner TOMORROW night?



While I am all for getting out of cooking dinner, I really think setting fire to the oven is taking it a little far, honey. ;)


Does this mean you are getting a new oven? Or just getting to fix the current one? I vote for new oven. If my vote counts. Because ovens aren't supposed to be burning. And because I'd love to have a new oven.


I love this story. I also love imagining you telling it for years to come.


Bwahahaha! Love it!


Hmmmm...oven fire. I'm going to have to remember that. I wonder if it would work on a holiday?


I agree with Mir


Right now I'm thinking of sighing cartoon gals, batting their eyelashes and cooing "What a man!"


This story is FUNNY. I would have done the same thing, with the jumping and squeaking.

Sorry about your oven, though. At least it's a fine excuse to take a vacation from cooking.

The One True Josh

You are missing the more important issue here, Ki. You were raised by parents who never cleaned their oven. They got away with it only because of their, ahem, ITINERANT lifestyle, never staying in one place long enough to need a good oven-cleaning. Because of their poor example, you are under the impression that ovens do not need to be cleaned, and sooner or later, you're bound to have a fire.

So, ummmm, if you figure out how to clean an oven, let me know, willya?


HOLY CRAP I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE OKAY! Man, that was CLOSE! You might need to come help me with my jumping up and down skills just in case this ever happens to me so you can, you know, pay it forward.

RW's Wife

Well, you could certainly borrow my rice cooker...

Amma Always

Actually, Sha, Kira knows how to clean an oven - she taught me. You flip that little lever to lock the oven and incinerate anything left inside, and then you go shopping.

The One True Josh

I know, Julian showed me.

Which was not the way I'd hoped to learn...


LOL Kira - smoking the rice, I like it. I was going for FLAVOR. Of course I was.

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