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A-Day Blessings

Today, as I'm sure it is marked on all your calendars, is A-Day. What? You DON'T have the day Clay adopted my boys, two years ago, marked on your calendar? Huh. And I thought I knew you so well.

Well, WE observed A-Day with fanfare and joy. Okay, what we actually did was skip church so we could drive through some nasty snow to take Sophia to the doctor's office. She's okay, but it's a testimony to how bad she looked that I wanted to take her in. Eleven years we've been with this pediatrician and until this week I didn't even know they HAD Sunday office hours. Bah. More about that tomorrow.

But today, despite its various complications, was A-Day. We had lunch at my parents' house (which was more of a Sunday event than an A-Day event, because we let them feed us Sunday dinner every week because we are givers), and to commemorate this day, we shared a blessing cup.

The blessing cup is a tradition from my childhood, and it's a good one. I hereby give you permission to steal it, because it's simply lovely. We usually do it on someone's birthday, and what you do is fill a pretty glass with something fancy everyone can drink (we usually go with sparkling cider, although I swear there was a Pepsi blessing cup once). Then you pass it around, and everyone says something to or about the honored person. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's touching. Kids generally grab the cup when it's their turn, look stricken, and choke out something like, "Happy Birthday - I'm glad you were born." Then *gulp* they take their sip, and pass it on.

When Mom poured the sparkling cider in the glass, Raphael was bouncing in his seat.

"ME FIRST! I want to GO FIRST!" He waved his hand and grinned. Hard to argue with that kind of passion, so Mom handed the glass to him. He took it, straightened in his chair, and looked right at Clay.

"Dad, I'm glad you adopted us," he said, "and I hope you don't leave like my other dad."

I think everyone around the table exhaled, like being kicked in the stomach. Later, Raphael told me he'd been planning what he'd say for the blessing cup for days.

And this is the best reason to do a blessing cup - because sometimes, when the question is too scary to ask, you can say it instead, and then, when it's your dad's turn, he can look right at you over the glass, lock eyes with you, and say, "Thank you for being my sons. I. Will. Not. Leave. You."

And on A-Day and every day, that's a good thing to hear.



You just made me cry. I'm glad your boys - and your sweet little girl - have such a good dad.


Two years on and he still thinks that Clay might leave. Thank you Clay for loving your family. I'm sure that you thank God for them too :-)
sniff sniff.


oh man, I'm glad I don't wear mascara, for it surely would be running down my face in big black streaks. Thank you for sharing your many blessings with all of us!

Jill W.



*weeping into my tea*

Happy A-Day to some of my very favorite people. And an extra hug for Raphi.



Happy A-day, guys!

Julie in Austin

Wow, you made me cry in 10.5 seconds. Whew! I wish you and your beautiful family a wonderful A-Day, and thanks for sharing your stories with us!


Happy A-day! Clay is a fantastic dad. Thank you for making me cry this morning!

Sarah Y.

Seriously teared up over here. I'm so glad your boys have a dad who will look them in the eyes and tell them what they most need to hear. They are blessed.


Pardon me, I seem to have something in my eye and also in my other eye.


Excuse me for a bit while I get a tissue *sniff*
Clay is definetely a beautiful, blessed person with a big heart! Happy A-Day to you, Kira. Hugs to your family.

Thank you for reminding me that step-dads make wonderful fathers.


Happy sob. Sniffle. Sigh.


Well, I just had to go grab a kleenex. How did you all manage to get through that without a bunch of sobbing and weeping?

Happy A-day!


Happy A-Day to you all. What a beautiful story, and a wonderful tradition. May have to steal it.


Clay rocks.


Aw. That Clay is certainly a keeper, isn't he? It does give one hope.

Just in case you don't fully appreciate how wonderful he is, (which I doubt VERY much - I'm sure you know), compare his statement with my daughters' stepmother's.

"I only ever wanted a relationship with your father, not with you."

This from the woman who owns and operates the daycare the younger daughter was in from 2 to 6, when her father finally walked out on us to be with her.

Kinda warms the cockles of your heart, doesn't it?

And makes me so grateful for blogs like this that show me that there are wonderful stepparents out there. Happy A-Day! And hugs to all!


he is a good dad isn't he!!
i miss you all soo much.
Dad, you may not be perfect but atleast you got marrying kira and adopting the boys right!!
i love you dad
and kira
and tre
and max
and raphael
and sophia

ccr in MA

You made me all sniffly at work this morning. What a great story!


What a lovely way to mark a very, very special day. And kudos to Raphi for being brave enough to share his feelings. YOur boys - and Clay - are very lucky men, indeed.

Happy A-Day!

Grandma Connie

Happy A-Day (you expect lateness from me by now)!! You are such a blessing to have in our lives, Sophia, Raphi, Max, Tre, Kira and Clay. We are truly blessed (and teary eyed)

The One True Josh

Sweet guy you've got there. And little Blunt-speak-asaurus is pretty cool too.

I have no memory of a Pepsi blessing cup. It seems unlikely. I remember a lot of cranberry juice.

Pamela L

Happy A-Day!! Clay is Awesome - glad you found him and became a family. Love hearing about all the love -


Oh lord, please excuse my while I BAWL...Happy A Day and many more....


What a wonderful post Kira (sob sob!!!) Happy A Day to all of you! I Ditto what Jennie said!!!


Well, hi. I knew of you from Mir but had still never managed to click over here and now I am getting sucked in, and also, WAH! Beautiful post.

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