Not performing up to expectations
Is she complaining about sleep again?

It all comes together in the end. Sort of.

Lately Sophia hasn't been sleeping well at all - at least, not several hours all in a row in the restful, REM sort of way that helps me face the day with a spring in my step and a complete lack of hallucinations. I'm sort of ping-ponging through my days right now, and I figured hey, why keep this mental Pac-Man game to myself? So here, for your...um....enjoyment?

A few years ago I read a book on quantum physics. Okay, wait. Let me back up there. First of all, it was just a book for your average person of average brain, about quantum physics. It wasn't, say, written for quantum pysicists. Also, I only managed to read a third of it before the library said, "Seriously, bring the book back. We know you're not going to finish it, so stop renewing it already." It READ like a standard overdue notice, but I think we all can read between the lines, am I right? Like the TONE they had that one time when the weight-loss book was overdue? I don't mind telling you, that one still stings.

Where was I?

Ah yes, quantum physics. I really did enjoy that book, although it was sort of like reading about someone else's religious beliefs. I could understand them (mostly), and get a sense of the framework of what they were saying. I could see the beauty, even. But I couldn't quite...believe. From what I understand, a large portion of the study of quantum physics seems to have a lot to do with thought experiments, which as far as I can tell are basically really smart people thinking up ideas to try to make other really smart people stop and say...whoa. Because the person who can make the most smart people be amazed with their smart thoughts wins and gets all the cute quantum physics groupies, and isn't that what science is all about after all? Hot groupies?

What was I saying?

Oh yes, the book. I can't even remember the name of it. But one of the things it talked about was the theory about sub-atomic particles, that if you OBSERVE their motion, you CHANGE their motion. This part is fuzzy, bear with me. I don't even know how you'd test such a theory, since it's not like you can sit around, WATCHING sub-atomic particles. Plus, the only way to prove such a thing would be to have two particles, one observed and one not, and then HOW, exactly, are you supposed to tell if the trajectory or speed or whatever is different? If you can't even LOOK at one of them?

Stupid quantum physics.

Anyhow, the REASON I was thinking about all these things, my very deep thoughts about quantum physics, is because of the balloon boy. You know the story, I'm not going to link to it. I'm even going to go out on a limb here and suggest that they may have gotten ENOUGH attention already. Sheesh. And you know who else has gotten enough attention? I'm not going to even say THEIR name, but you know about them too, a reality TV family with a whole slew of kids, and the parents are going through a messy, ugly divorce? Right. Also possibly somewhat overexposed.

People are starting to fuss about all these kids on reality shows. They should be protected, some say. They're being exploited. I think what the parents don't seem to realize is that their lives are being altered. Just like the observed sub-atomic particles, cameras change the trajectory of their reality.

Their kids' childhoods are being messed with, and they're so addled by the cameras they don't even see it.

So here's what I'm thinking - follow me closely now - do you think if I brought a whole camera crew in to film her, Sophia would sleep through the night?

Comments

Karate Mom

This made me laugh SO HARD. Because, really, quantum physics is so funny.
(I'm super impressed that you even checked out a book on quantum physics in the first place. I mean, if I'd tried to do that at the library, the system would have just said, "Lisa, go ahead and put that back. You know you'll never understand even Quantum Physics for Dummies.")
No, really the part that made me laugh the most was how it all tied together in the end!

Amma Always

You are the Queen of... I'm not going to say of what, because the attention might cause you to change your trajectory. But you are.

(OK. I was going to say Queen of the Quantum Physics of babies. Is there such a thing? I think so. OK. Bring on the groupies.)

Tracy

yes, it all came together in the end, and I about died drinking water just now as I read your last sentence. Didn't quite see that coming.

But of course she would. Of course, nobody else would if you have a whole camera crew there. Hmmm, baby sleeping, everyone else awake. Yeah, it's still worth it.

Mir

AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!

Clearly Sophia just misses me. Silly girl.

(Also? Developmental milestone ahoy, sister. You may be too busy with your deep thoughts to remember that from the other kids. My bet is she starts crawling, and then resumes sleeping. You're welcome.)

Swistle

whoa

Michelle

Fuzzy logic at its best! Love the way you tied it all together.

Groovecatmom

You are my hero, both for reading a book about quantum physics, and being able to discuss it after such a lack of sleep. Also, I'm with Mir.

Jan in Norman, OK

On a side note, you might enjoy reading THE CANON: A Whirligig Tour of the Beautiful Basics of Science, by Natalie Angier.

Shelley

Makes perfect sense to me.

Katie @ Can't Get There From Here

If sleep deprivation made me this funny, then I would totally sign up for...nope. Can't do it. Can't say it with a straight face. :)

You are wickedly hilarious, though, so at least there's that. Right?

Clay

Can I be your groupie?

The comments to this entry are closed.