I cannot think of a title now, because of the explosion.
I still say the name wrong.

Love colors your vision

There was a moment I'll never forget when Tre was a baby. His eyes were just starting to turn and I showed a friend the dot of stained-glass brown in the circle of cloudy dark blue he was born with. She looked, then said something I couldn't believe. Since she had blue eyes, and her boyfriend had blue eyes, she'd recently realized that if they had kids, they would HAVE to have blue eyes.

"We'd be GUARANTEED a blue-eyed baby!" she said, clearly delighted. I stared at her, stunned. Was she actually saying that blue eyes were preferred - somehow better than this, my perfectly brown-hued baby boy?

I'm afraid that day something of an attitude was born.

My sons' biological father is Mexican, and they have inherited from him a rainbow of browns. I stare at them, drink in all the different shades. Their eyelashes looks like lacquered slivers of mahogany. Their hair is glossy dark, spun strands of copper and bronze. Their eyes are the clearest pools of strong coffee. Their skin is a warm tan heavily favored by Eddie Bauer.

Raphael eyelashes

And then their biological dad broke. I don't know how better to say it. There was before, and then there was after, and he was gone gone gone. He associated his weakness with being Mexican, and it infuriated me. I would not permit him to bequeath that to my sons. Addiction and selfishness are not Mexican traits, they are human traits to live with or live under. To be completely honest, I feared an ugliness inside me, that I could look at them through the anger I felt at their biological father. I grew fiercer in my appreciation of them, of their brownness, of their beauty. Not only were they perfect in my eyes, they were better than any other color.

Max eyes

Better than any other child.

Raphael hair

And, of course, they were all boys. And people would roll their eyes and offer me sympathy that I had no daughters. I disdained their sympathy. How could I want anyone other than my sons? I shrugged off the whole concept of girl power. Not only did I not need a daughter, I didn't even WANT one.

And then.

Sophia face

She was born to us, a little girl, a study in peach and gold and blue.

Sophia eye 

For weeks I was startled to look at her and realize she was really my daughter.

Last night I was reading a magazine and in an article about skin care, there was a side bar that read, "Why are there so many different colors of skin?"

Oh, I thought, I know. Because it's lovely.

Sophia hand tre arm

It wasn't until I saw her in their arms, peachy-pale skin against sturdy brown, that I finally understood. My sons are not diminished by their sister, by her girlness or her shade of beauty. It's not a better than/worse than proposition at all. It's not a competition.

Tre and sophia

It never was.

Happy Love Thursday.



I TOTALLY agree. My first son was golden skinned, light golden brown hair, brown eyes. I almost felt SORRY for "regular" blond-haired blue-eyed baby (I come from a very DUTCH family tree). Then my second son was milk skinned, tow-headed, blue-eyed, and THAT was ALSO the most beautiful combination.

Alison C




I miss your kids.

Oh, and you. ;)

Amma Always

I almost cannot speak because of the fireworks in my heart when I see their pictures... all tan/gold/pink/rich brown of them.

Mary Jo

You are a beautiful writer. Thank-you.


Ah, you, and your family, are awesome. And, as an aside, both my husband and I are brown-haired, brown-eyed people. We have two blond-haired, blue-eyed sons. Those genes, they are the tricksters sometimes. (Yes, we both have a blond, blue-eyed parent. No milkmen visting. Felt the need to clarify that...)


What a beautiful piece of writing this is. Your boys are gorgeous in their rainbow of browns, as is your girl in her peachy ivoriness.

Pam DeSimone

What a beautiful post! Having raised two stunning blue-eyed redheads, I loved both light and dark eyes. My granddaughter is a clone of her mother even though her dad is half Italian with dark eyes and hair. My older grandson is darker and handsome and the baby is still changing.:)


Beautiful, just beautiful - You, the boys the baby, the family, the blog - everything.


that's some gorgeous love. I'm tannish and my huband is practically see-through. Our kids are a lovely mixture - some are fair and some are darker. I love looking at how pale my older two look against my younger two. They all got my dark eyes, but luckily for them, they got the long eyelashes from their daddy.

Pamela L

Beautiful - the writing and the family!! I have 2 sons that took after their dad all tan and brown - not my pink/blue self. They are beautiful and would have been not matter what because they are God's creations and my babies.


A friend E-mailed me the link to this post, and I'm so very glad she did. Thank you for writing this. It's absolutely perfect.

My husband is Latino and our first son is dark skinned, dark hair, dark eyes - gorgeous. Then our second son was born, and while he's got the same chocolate brown eyes as his big brother and his Daddy, he's got my hair and fair skin, and the cutest smattering of Irish freckles across his nose - and he is also beautiful... Sometimes when my husband and I lay in bed, I look at his arm laying protectively across my body, or my legs intertwined with his... and it's beautiful, too.

Ginseng Coréen

Those are the best kids. God bless you all!

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