Love makes any day better
What 13 looks like

Uh...hi!

So, hi there! I've been gone, have you noticed. My MOTHER has noticed. She sighs at me. I just told Clay I was blogging RIGHT NOW and he breathed, "what?" Like it's unheard of. I'm feeling a little judged, I don't mind telling you.

Okay, fine, so I deserve it. I've been terribly lax around here. And once a few weeks go by, I find myself trapped in this squishy spot in my own mind, somewhere between "I can't blog NOW, there's too much LIFE to summarize," and "OH, shutupshutupshutUP, no one CARES."

So the only way to leap that particular barrier is that I'm going to jump right in here with an uninteresting anecdote about an alarm clock, and pretend I haven't let the last few irretrievable weeks slip by unnoticed.

(Although I will just throw this in, sort of as an aside, about Christmas: Clay actually got out of bed before the boys did Christmas morning, so he could turn on the lights on the tree, and generally fuss about a bit, setting the stage, because he was all excited, which tells me he will just NEVER understand how to properly act like a worn-out old parent. I despair.)

Do you know that when I married Clay it had been more than NINE YEARS since I had regularly been woken up by an alarm clock? I'd been a SAH mom since Tre was born, and even when I was married before, my first husband worked nights, so he would sleep until noon or so, while I crawled out of bed at child's early light. So unless I had an early morning appointment or something, I just never used an alarm clock. 

But then I married him, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the bringer of the alarm clock.

Clay has this cool clock that plays different soothing sounds, like the twittering of birds and whatnot. The setting he likes is the gentle swush swush of the ocean, and so ever since we were married (almost THREE YEARS AGO!), I have been awakened by this calm sound.

Can I TELL you how much that freaked me out at first? I know it sounds weird, but remember that I had grown entirely accustomed to being roused by children. It seemed normal to me to have my day start with an ice-cold hand in my armpit, and a small voice asking me, "Mama, why do you have prickles under your arm?" But now, in the dark stillness of hours that were earlier than even my children thought of waking up, the air would suddenly be filled with that noise, that swush, swush. I would jump, then lie there, rigid, my heart pounding, eyes searching the dark in vain for a reason for this SOUND. Clay would reach over and press a button, and all would be still. I'd take a deep breath and close my eyes. And ten minutes later we'd do it all again.

After a while I grew accustomed to the wicked swush swush, and it no longer frightened me. However, I grew to associate the sound with my husband climbing out of bed, thoughtlessly taking all his warms with him, leaving me to cocoon myself in blankets and feel sorry for myself and cold. Yes, I HAVE somehow turned the fact that the poor man gets up at 5 AM into a reason to feel sorry for myself, thank you. This is why it's a good thing that I don't leap out of bed when he does. I'm unbearable before 10 or so, I really am.

The other morning the alarm went off, and in the moments between the tiny click that heralds the swush swush and Clay reaching over to silence it, I lied there in the dark and thought very unappreciative things at the clock. 

And right then, as I was actively disliking the alarm clock that is specifically designed to be gentle, the alarm clock that doesn't even have anything to do with when *I* get out of bed, the soft ocean surf-sounding alarm clock that coaxes my husband awake each morning, as I realized something.

I really am not normal.

Comments

momzen

Normal or not, it's nice to see you up and around.

I just searched back through your archives to find the link to how to cook a pumpkin. (The one that has been sitting on my counter since before Halloween.)

It's a bonus for me that I get to read your post too. Blog without guilt! :)

Aimee

Eh, normal's overrated.

In other news: you're back! Yay!

Kate

Thank you! I was having the worst day, and this post just made me laugh out loud.

and THANK GOD you're not normal. i don't think i could handle "normal" from you, i am used to crazy!!!

p.s that whole crazy post! its mine! me..your step daughter! yeah me!!!!

Amy

Welcome back! I've missed you terribly. Happy New Year!

Kristy

At least if anything goes sorely awry in this relationship (which it won't, i'm just saying) you won't have to cite something boring and cop-outish like "irreconcilable differences" on the paperwork. At least you could say with confidence "He was the bringer of the alarm clock." Then they'll say, "Dude, bringer isn't a word" and you'll say, "What do you know? Have YOU ever been published IN A BOOK?"

This all sounded funnier in my head.

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