The constant is change
August 12, 2008
I was sweeping, and a small Lego brick skittered across the floor, dislodged by my broom. I bent down to pick it up, sighing. I wiped dust off the glossy blue surface and looked at it. It was one of the tiny ones, a single dot on top for wedging in the bottom of another brick. It was one of the legion that lurks in every corner of my house.
I thought about the Legos in the couch, and under the couch. Legos lined up on the ledge, waiting to be taken back downstairs where they live. A Lego that turned up, inexplicably, in the silverware basket of the dishwasher. Legos on the piano.There will ALWAYS be Legos, I thought.
Of course, I know that's not true. There are so many things that I thought were fixtures in our lives, that are simply gone. Once upon a time Tre was obsessed with paper airplanes, and behind every piece of furniture you could find at least one hoop-nosed scooter. Today our home is entirely paper airplane free. It wasn't that long ago that Max persisted in bringing in ants - just carrying around a single, tiny black ant, that would inevitably be left orphaned in the bathroom sink, or on the kitchen table. I despaired of ever convincing him to leave the ants outside, but today I never even think about it. I asked him about it the other day, if he remembered when he was four and carried ants into the house, and he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. And so it goes. In the last few years, in barely a breath of time, Jennie has gone from a reserved, suspicious, softly rounded little girl to a long, lean woman, with a nearly adult sense of graciousness and joy. The never ending Shooperman phase of Raphael's is barely a memory now. One day soon all the boys will be done with Legos, and I will forget that they were ubiquitous. Ubrickuitous.
I feel like I finally get it, I finally understand what those women were always trying to tell me in the grocery store when I was a brand new mom. They would lean in and coo at Tre (and usually call him a girl, because if you have hair and long eyelashes, you are obviously a girl, even if your mom has dressed you in blue overalls). And then they would look at me intensely, maybe even grip my arm, and say,
"ENJOY this. It goes so fast.
I'd nod and smile and promise I would, but in my head I was thinking, pssht. Walk a mile in my soggy nursing bra, honey. This is endless.
But of course, it was not. And in the span of minutes, those days have twined and melted into thin air, and my tiny perfect baby not-a-girl is now a teen, breathing down the neck of adulthood, and I get it. These endless days really are made out of smoke, and although I can't keep a grip on them I have to watch.
However, as it turns out...
There will be Legos for a little while longer.
GREAT, I love Legos!
Posted by: clay | August 12, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and Clay and your kids.
Posted by: Sarah | August 12, 2008 at 11:12 PM
Kira, Congratulations!!!!! WOW! I am just so tickled for you!! I hope you are feeling well, not too queasy! The boys and Clay must be so excited! Yaaayy!!
Now that I've expressed my own excitement for you, I feel I should introduce myself - you see, I am a long time reader of your blog (I found you through Mir (or maybe Joshilyn) about 2 years ago, and I've read and enjoyed your archived posts as well) but even though I've come close on several occasions, I've never left a comment. (I know - I'm sorry!) I simply don't comment on blogs generally, even though I am absolutely devoted to reading them. I think it's because I generally feel overwhelmed all the time, and composing a nice post seems like more than I can do, since I generally read blogs as brief breaks from mothering my own FOUR rascally boys. I have enjoyed your stories so much, and I feel like I relate to you in many ways. I, too, have a 13 year old son (Sean)(his birthday was in June), so your tales about Tre really hit home for me. I also have a 9 year old son (Evan), a 5 year old son (Ian), and my youngest son (Owen) turns 3 tomorrow (13th). I currently live in Austin, TX but I spent 6 years in Colorado - Louisville, Longmont, and Lyons, so I enjoy hearing about the Colorado weather and events.
I have really enjoyed and learned from reading about you and your beautiful family. Your love and devotion to them shines through in your excellent writing, and your stories often bring a tear to my eye - even the happy ones - since I am at a similar place in my mothering. I apologize for being a selfish and silent lurker, and I'll try to participate more in the future so I can give back to the community here.
Again, many congratulations, and good wishes to you, Clay, and all the boys! Maybe you'll join me in the very exclusive "Mothers of Four Boys Club" - I'm happy here, but it's really difficult as well. Sorry for the really long comment, but I guess I felt like I owed it to you! =)
Julie
Posted by: Julie | August 12, 2008 at 11:15 PM
COngratulations!!!! I had to come out of lurking to say that :0)
Posted by: C | August 13, 2008 at 12:39 AM
Congratulations! (Another lurker scurries back behind the couch...with the Legos.)
Posted by: Kim | August 13, 2008 at 01:18 AM
joining the cast of lurkers who are delurking to say "whoohoo! congrats!"
Posted by: janet | August 13, 2008 at 01:54 AM
How wonderful. Congratulations to all of you!
Posted by: Loth | August 13, 2008 at 02:51 AM
Oh! Yay!
Lurker congratulations from me, too.
Woo!
Posted by: stephanie | August 13, 2008 at 04:58 AM
Oh Wow! Congrats. I hope that you are feeling well.
And thanks for the reminder to cherish right now.
Posted by: Crisanne | August 13, 2008 at 05:36 AM
HOOOOOOOOOOORAY! Now I can tell everyone, right? RIGHT??
Oh, there will be Legos. And maybe even POLLY POCKETS! That's a fresh circle of hell you haven't experienced yet! (This is why you love me. I'm so positive and uplifting!)
Posted by: Mir | August 13, 2008 at 05:41 AM
Woooohoooo!!!
I am SOOO happy for you!!
Posted by: Jensgalore | August 13, 2008 at 06:22 AM
WOW!!!! I am so excited for you!
Congratulations to all of you, and I'm lol at the comment from Mir - Polly Pockets are indeed another circle of hell.
Posted by: Carmen | August 13, 2008 at 06:26 AM
Oooo, maybe it will be a girl. Then again, maybe another boy! In either case, you guys win.
Congratulations.
Posted by: hollygee | August 13, 2008 at 06:32 AM
CONGRATULATIONS! I can't remember if I've ever commented - but I have read every single word that you have written on this here blog :)
XOXOXO
Posted by: Isabel | August 13, 2008 at 06:45 AM
WOO WOO! I am adding my congrats to the list...
Posted by: kim | August 13, 2008 at 06:47 AM
Congratulations! (And what a neat way to break the news, too. Very smooth!)
I always loved Legos. I still have a bin of them in the basement, though I have no kids and turn 40 in October. I just love the possibilities.
Posted by: ccr in MA | August 13, 2008 at 06:56 AM
Oh Kira! Yay! Congratulations from a very jealous lurker.
:)
Posted by: Megan | August 13, 2008 at 07:12 AM
If William is to be believed, there will always be Legos. His career goal is to be a professional Lego collector. Right now he's still just an amateur.
And I had the opposite experience--a bald girl dressed all in pink, being taken for a boy. Love you!
Posted by: Groovecatmom | August 13, 2008 at 07:28 AM
My arm would be doing the "Yes!" pump in the air, except that Arwen told me a week ago and I did it then. Congratulations!!
Posted by: Salome Ellen | August 13, 2008 at 07:56 AM
Another lurker to say Congratulations!!
And - I miss the Legos and Polly Pockets!! I miss being a SAHM!! My kids are now 25 and 23, so those days are pretty much a hazy memory now. I saved lots of the Legos and Polly Pockets for grandchildren, but really, I can wait a while for that.
Posted by: Cheryl | August 13, 2008 at 07:56 AM
Add me to the lurker list. CONGRATS! How exciting that I get to lurk through a pregnancy lol :)
Posted by: H.E.Eigler | August 13, 2008 at 08:20 AM
Oh my gosh! Congratulations!!!
EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Posted by: Aimee | August 13, 2008 at 08:27 AM
A baby!!! How exciting!!! CoNgRaTuLAtIoNs!!!!
Posted by: Tracy | August 13, 2008 at 08:35 AM
Yippie!!! I am so looking forward to your stories of warm baby scented head nuzzles with another one. I wish you all the best - congratulations from the bottom of my heart.
As a side note Kira, you know me very distantly, although I do have the honor of being the subject of one of your blogs (the very pregnant lady at the dog park over a year and a half ago who "hearts" you), but I have to tell you just how honored I feel to be allowed to be a part of your life, however stalker-ish it makes me feel at times. You have such a beautiful talent for story telling, for bringing the reader into your magical world and for painting such realistic word pictures.
As a mom to a very independent and marvelous little boy of 16 months, I love to look back at your older posts and glean little bits of advice and sanity from your experiences. You are like a resource book for me, and I can't thank you enough for being the "friend you don't know you are" to me.
So, again, congratulations on your news. God bless you and your marvelous family always!!
Posted by: Christine | August 13, 2008 at 08:39 AM
Ahahahahaha! Such GREAT news! I am so happy for you!
(And I hope you are feeling okay.)
Posted by: Arwen | August 13, 2008 at 08:44 AM
Another lurker/congratulater...I totally didn't see that one coming. I'm thrilled for you, Clay, and the boys! Mazel tov!
Posted by: TC | August 13, 2008 at 08:45 AM
Awww!! Congrats hon!! How exciting!
Posted by: Mary Jo | August 13, 2008 at 08:56 AM
OHHHH WOW! congratulations!! this is wonderful news!
Posted by: el-e-e | August 13, 2008 at 09:36 AM
Whee! Lets go around this coaster one more trip (or more!). Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!
Posted by: Em | August 13, 2008 at 09:49 AM
Congrats for you? How thrilling for you, your husband and your boys!! But I have a feeling it won't be legos, it will be dolls... :)
It is so encouraging to read of happiness again after what you have gone through. I am in the stage you were previously - divorced single mother trying to raise two children alone with an evil ex-husband who wants to see the kids but doesn't want to pay anything for their care. I hope and pray that my children and I find peace and happiness and that maybe I too can find love again, and a new baby too!
Enjoy!! You have earned it the hard way!
Posted by: JSEE | August 13, 2008 at 10:06 AM
EEEEEEEEEEEEE! Wow congratulations, you two! When are you due?
Posted by: Sheryl | August 13, 2008 at 11:12 AM
Woohooo!!!
Conratualtions to you all!!
Posted by: Alison C | August 13, 2008 at 11:26 AM
Ah, you made me snort my iced tea through my nose I was so surprised! Congratulations, happy and healthy nine months and all that. Could not happen to a nicer family! Just don't get so busy you forget to update us on all the goings-on, please? Whoohoo!
Posted by: Jen | August 13, 2008 at 11:42 AM
Congratulations!! And thanks for the reminder to appreciate the early days -- through the intense haze of sleep deprivation I will try to savor the good moments with my 6- and 3-year-olds and 3-week-old! :)
Posted by: Angela | August 13, 2008 at 12:02 PM
Add me to the lurker list!!! SOOO EXCITING!!! Congrats!!
Posted by: Audra | August 13, 2008 at 01:19 PM
Congratualtions! What a lovely surprise for us readers! Can't wait to "meet" the little one...
Posted by: Emma | August 13, 2008 at 01:20 PM
Congratulations! What a lovely surprise for us readers! Can't wait to "meet" the little one...
Posted by: Emma | August 13, 2008 at 01:21 PM
Another shy lurker coming out to say, "Congratulations!"
As the mother of four busy, funny, delightful, infuriating, beautiful children I envy you -- you get to do it again! My oldest is eleven years older than the baby, and the bond those two have is very special and difficult to describe. Your baby is a lucky little person to come into your home.
Posted by: Mel | August 13, 2008 at 01:45 PM
Sore nipples, diapers, baby head smells...! I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but I am very glad for you (and secretly thankful it is not me). ;-) Big congrats to you and Clay! I am so excited for both of you! I can't wait to find out how Raphael handles being a big brother!
Posted by: Linda Sherwood | August 13, 2008 at 02:33 PM
CONGRATULATIONS!!
I have read your blog for a very long time and I love the way you show your love for your family in your writing. I have 2 boys that are now 24 (married w/girl child) and 20 (Army / married w/girl child). (Mostly, I feel so old and your tales bring back wonderful memories for me.)
Keep it up - and All the Best with your newest family change.
Posted by: Pamela L | August 13, 2008 at 04:04 PM
Wow!
Posted by: jwgmom | August 13, 2008 at 05:27 PM
Wow!!!! Another mostly-lurker who loves your storytelling. Congratulations!!!!
Posted by: Carla Hinkle | August 13, 2008 at 05:56 PM
Yea!!!! Congratulations!
Posted by: andi | August 13, 2008 at 06:36 PM
Oh, Kira!
I was reading along, and wondering where you were going with this, and just as I clicked to go below the fold, I suddenly KNEW...
I am so, SO happy for you. Seriously, I'm teary. Isn't that silly? One breakfast, one dinner, (at which you confessed that you and Clay MIGHT get married, that's how long ago that was) one phone conversation and a dozen comments over a period of five (dear dog, it IS five)years, and here I am weepy over this joyous news.
Congratulations, my dear. And be sure to treat yourself to a new nursing bra.
Posted by: Shelley | August 13, 2008 at 07:18 PM
what a lucky baby to be born into such a loving family! Congratulations!
Posted by: laura | August 13, 2008 at 08:13 PM
How can a lurker stay lurking for this?! Congratulations!!!
Posted by: Meredith | August 13, 2008 at 08:46 PM
everyone thinks its going to be a boy.
No people no.
i will have a baby sister!!!!
i will.
i will.
loves!
Posted by: jennie | August 13, 2008 at 09:05 PM
YAY! YAY! YAY! Congratulations! I'm so excited for you!!
Woot woot!!
And please tell me that you are as weird as I am and you are going to keep that stick... because I found the almost-two year old wandering aroudn the house today holding the pee stick that was our first indication of HER.
"Um, yeah, honey, don't put that in your mouth."
Wheeee I'm so excited for you!
Posted by: Heather Cook | August 13, 2008 at 09:13 PM
One baby quilt coming up! Whoo Hooo!!!
Posted by: shannon | August 13, 2008 at 11:04 PM
Wow! I take a couple days off from the computer and great things have happened! So very happy for you and Clay, I am just thrilled. Best wishes for a smooth and healthy pregnancy, and lots of love to your family.
Posted by: Nic | August 14, 2008 at 07:05 AM
WOW WOW WOW. I'm super happy for you!!!!
Posted by: Lisa in NJ | August 14, 2008 at 08:03 AM
congratulations....on the legos and all
Posted by: db | August 14, 2008 at 09:59 AM
Oh my goodness! Congratulations, of course, but also - as another mother of three boys - good luck! You're going to have your hands full! LOL
Posted by: Cate | August 14, 2008 at 11:14 AM
WHAT?????!!!! I'm out of blog commission for a few days and this is what happens? Somebody's been jumping on the bed....
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Posted by: Kristy | August 14, 2008 at 01:07 PM
WOOOHOOOOO!!
Posted by: Summer | August 14, 2008 at 03:11 PM
Congratulations :) I love your writing, and have long lurked, only occasionally commenting. I had my last baby at 37. She is nine now, and I have really enjoyed my surprise baby. Have fun, and good health to you, c
Posted by: jetmom4 | August 14, 2008 at 05:48 PM
Congratulations! I had my first baby on Feb. 1st. She is 6 months old now. It does fly by so fast!!! I'm so happy for you and your "boys"!
Posted by: Caren | August 15, 2008 at 05:12 PM
congratulations! i am back from a vacation myself and finally getting caught up with the blogs.
looks like you had a great time up this way...
Posted by: shannon in oregon | August 17, 2008 at 10:20 AM
So, so happy for you. Congrats!
Posted by: Sheri | August 17, 2008 at 03:53 PM
CONGRATS AGAIN!! what a great way to announce my new niece or nephew!! Love you guys all so much & truly miss you!! Please hug all the boys for me! Hope your feeling better soon!! :)
Posted by: mirdy | August 18, 2008 at 10:02 PM
Oh my lands girl...I had a feeling something was up in your little section of the world.
Congrads to all of you. Now what if this is a little girl??!??! Dress up and froo froo may be in your future. Not that Hot Wheels and paper airplanes aren't cool.
Posted by: Hula Doula | August 19, 2008 at 08:25 PM
CONGRATULATIONS!
Im soooooooooo Very Happy for you!
I had read this blog, but did not realize there was another page. I just thought it ended. And then I was reading your latest blog and was taken back to ready the due date. You and clay diserve this!
I will keep you in my prayers
P.S. I have a huge tub of legos that I wil never let my mother throw out. hahaha
Posted by: Rachael O. | August 23, 2008 at 11:32 PM
Heard from The Bean Blog that you're expecting. Congratulations and YAY for more Legos!
Posted by: Liz@thisfullhouse | August 25, 2008 at 12:01 PM
And I missed this news...how? My goodness, congrats to you and Clay! Awesome, awesome!
Posted by: Angela Klocke | September 06, 2008 at 11:55 AM