It's the season, stupid
February 07, 2008
Wow, downer much, Kira?
I know, I know, you don't know how to respond, because y'all have been averting your eyes and pretending not to see me snivel and leak snot as I weep over my pitiful life. But I have good news of a sort - I just realized that we're slogging through the mouldering remains of winter.
Let me back up here: I KNEW it was February, but it just hit me what that MEANS, mood-wise. Winter doldrums. Homeschool burnout. Cabin fever. Life has become a small, damp cave, and there's an odd smell coming from somewhere. It's not that my life has suddenly soured. It's the season.
To add to my (pitiful) angst, I seem to have given up sugar for Lent, a fact that keeps leaping out to surprise me. For instance, I just noticed that we have some of my favorite bread in the fridge, and my heart leapt for just a moment, until I realized why. I was thinking, somewhere deep in my reptilian brain, that I could take some of that bread, toast it, sprinkle it with chocolate chips, then quick spread it with peanut butter while it's still hot and the chocolate and peanut butter would be all melty and soft (I like to think of this as "getting protein" because I am creative and charmingly delusional). But of course no. I can't. I could have the toast without the chocolate (because I do have peanut butter without sugar, and yes. It is just as bad as it sounds), but why would I? Just the thought of it in my mouth makes me want to lie down on the floor and make little moaning sounds at the sad boringness of it.
And then, on top of that, I have recently received an unfortunate hair cut. My most trusted advisers (Amy and my mom) assure me that it's fine, it looks great. Sadly, my most trusted advisers are great big liars. It's just a tad too short, and it evokes the unfortunate perm incident of '82 (which come to think of it, Mom thought was adorable too, so who signed her up as an adviser?), and is entirely too poodley. Fortunately my hair grows fast. Tonight it seems not fast enough.
And then there's the whole "good LORD, I seem to have spawned an adolescent" angst, which I'm sure you are all very tired of hearing about. Sorry, it's just been very surprising to me. I mean, he was JUST a baby! Twelve and a half years ago, and here he is, an adolescent already? Who authorized THAT? It very much reminds me of the shock I felt when I discovered he'd turned two and was...well, a TWO YEAR OLD. I remember sitting around, weeping hot tears of sorrow, because he was suddenly so oppositional, and WHO SAW THAT COMING?
I also believe that the hormonal mood swings experienced by adolescents also affect those around them. Particularly their mothers. It's the only explanation I can think of for random, blinding bouts with temporary insanity.
So there you have it. No call for despair, just a season of snow, dark, sugarless, bad hair, hormonal swings. This too shall pass. I just have to remember that Spring is on its way, and it's bringing cupcakes.
I am so with you on the pre-teen hormonal roller coaster. Yuck! What happened to my sweet little girl. She's also a little over twelve and has started with all the drama.
It appears I know nothing and all I do is irritate her. I have a feeling this "phase" will continue for quite some time. (I've heard from some people until early 20's-yikes!) At least you have a boy, girls, all I can say is girls. I wanna cry too.
Do you have any extra tissue (puffs only, please)?
Posted by: karen | February 08, 2008 at 06:15 AM
Mmmm... cupcakes. What?
Posted by: Mir | February 08, 2008 at 06:30 AM
I'm so glad I'm not the only one shocked to discover I'm the parent of a teenager. Everyone looks at me like duh! of course he's a teenager. You gave birth 13 years ago. What did you think was going to happen? But honestly, every time I look at those long limbs, big hands and giant feet I'm stunned. How the hell did that happen?
Posted by: heidi | February 08, 2008 at 08:05 AM
my baby has been a teen for about 7 months. her older brothers have long passed through that stage so i know there is a light at the end of the tunnel on the angst. (it's not better, just DIFFERENT when they're adults.)
but it's always a shock to look at the big hulking children i have spawned and remember the little babies i snuggled and rocked to sleep.
sigh
Posted by: janet | February 08, 2008 at 08:10 AM
I am not a liar. And I'll prove it: that unfortunate perm way back when really was unfortunate. But not this haircut! It looks marvelous.
Posted by: Groovecatmom | February 08, 2008 at 08:40 AM
I don't know what you're talking about. You're an absolute ray of SUNSHINE compared to the grumps I have to deal with.
Posted by: Aimee | February 08, 2008 at 08:42 AM
Yeah...February. I homeschooled my son until last year and February and May were always the hardest months. February because the utter lack of sun (here in the Pacific Northwest) would finally put me over the edge, and May because that was always the month I convinced myself he'd learned nothing all year.
Now, of course, he's 15 and in private school. With a girlfriend. Who doesn't speak or make eye contact with adults. What fresh hell is this?
Posted by: Laura | February 08, 2008 at 08:49 AM
Chin up, Bunny! I will be praying for you. This is just a transition, and winter and etc, and you are the supergreatiest. IT IS JUST WINTER and HORMONES.
You and Tre will find a way through his teenageness together---you always do. I have total faith in both of you.
Posted by: joshilyn | February 10, 2008 at 02:57 AM
I may not be the best person to give this advice, seeing as I actually prefer un-sugared peanut butter over the sugared kind (it has to do with the fact that usually when I'm craving peanut butter I'm NOT craving something sweet, I have an enormous sweet tooth otherwise), but have you ever tried that fresh-ground unsalted kind of peanut butter? The kind you can grind for yourself in some health-food stores? If you use the unsalted peanuts it ends up having a surprisingly sweet taste. The only drawback (if you consider this a drawback, which I don't) is that it never comes out truly smooth.
Posted by: SarahD | February 10, 2008 at 09:56 AM