Because the only thing more fun than a visit to the dentist is reading about one.
I'm sorry, but I couldn't post tonight

A few weeks ago I was in the kitchen, refereeing the morning scramble for breakfast. Max stood on one side of the (small) room, and squinted at the clock over the stove on the other side.

"What time is it?" he asked. I looked from him to the clock and back again. Ah. What time is it? Time for glasses, methinks.

It was sort of sweet for me, because I'd discovered I needed glasses in just the same way, in the kitchen with my mother one morning. I was looking for the sugar, she held up the bag of it and asked if that was what I wanted, I squinted, she asked if I could see what she was holding...and there you have it. I wore glasses or contacts for the next 22 years or so, until I had my corneas lasered into submission.

I wasn't in a huge hurry to get Max in for glasses, because I also remembered how very fast my prescription changed at first. But Clay is a better parent than I, and he got him in for an appointment this afternoon.

I was making dinner when they called, on their way home from the doctor. Oh yes, Max will be getting his glasses.




I sat at dinner tonight and watched him and chastised myself. I've seen him pull his books close to his face, but I always attributed it to his tracking problems. And now I guess we know why those tracking problems have persisted so much.

I don't know how it is that Max got dealt such a tough hand. I had a rough, rough pregnancy with him, but he was born full sized and healthy. The doctor, looking at his eyes today, asked if he'd been premature or had a high fever as a newborn. When Clay told me that, I flashed back on an image of newborn Max. He was cold, and wouldn't warm up, so the nurses had him under warming lights, swathed in plastic. No one knew why his temperature stayed so low, but I knew that I needed to hold him, skin against skin, and keep him safe.

Here are the issues Max alone, out of my boys, has to deal with. ADD. The aforementioned tracking issues (basically, the muscles of his eyes don't work well together, causing him to fatigue quickly whenever reading or doing paper and pencil work). Apparently, near- and far-sightedness. He has a dramatic underbite that will require a LOT of orthodontic work, and possibly surgery where they BREAK his JAW. But they won't know about that for a while, because he has an EXTRA SET OF PERMANENT TEETH in his lower jaw, and they have to wait for those to come in (his first set of permanent teeth will have to be pulled) to see what his bite is like. He's had sleep disturbances for most of his life - that's gotten a lot better in the last few years. Asthma.

I tried to imagine what the world looks like to Max. Fuzzy all around, and up close, words wobble and blur. I can't picture it, and the thought of it makes me feel a bit claustrophobic.

I'm trying to remember that today's eye doctor visit is a good thing. His eyes have always been bad, and now he's going to get help with that. Another tool to help Max live as Max. This is a good thing.

But I can't help it - I look at my long-haired boy and I see a baby for whom the world was too cold. I want to hold him close and keep him safe.


Emily R

It's rough being little, and he has a lot of challenges to face. Fortunately, he has your help to do it.


Oh, honey. Our long-haired boys aren't given anything they can't handle, right? That means they are destined for huge things, what with the burdens they have been carrying ever since they were babes. They are going to make us so proud.


This post resonated with me. I regularly go through my boy's laundry list of issues and want to know the whys and hows. In the end, the only thing I can know is that I love him and will do anything to help him "live as him." Just like you with Max.

I'm so glad I came back to this site. Putting you up on my links, lady.


*sniffle* He's lucky to have you and Clay for parents, then, because you will keep him warm.

Note to self: read Kira BEFORE mascara application, not after.


Is Max having any eye muscle exercises? I had both eye crossed as a little girl and had eye exercises and now I'm not cross eyed at all unless I'm really, really tired.

But the things I can do with my eyes make the little kids say ewwwwww LOL.

Angela Klocke

:( I'm sorry to hear he's had so many different issues. Sounds like my Brian, the middle child. He needs the orthodontic work, has breathing issues (though they are much better now they we are here in CO), and on and on. I too wonder why he got the raw deal. (Not that I want the others to have problems.)


My brother has similar difficulties (minus the asthma and bifocals). When we were younger I remember going to the 'special' eye doctor for his eye exercises. He wore regular glasses for a long time, but did eventually outgrow them (which is very unusual in our fully spectacled family). At the time, my parents decided to treat his ADD with Ritalin, though they now wonder if that was really the right decision. It was tough for him, but he hasn't had Ritalin in over 10 years and is doing VERY well.

I know that Max is going to have it rougher than the rest of your boys, but he's got good parents and I really think that's what makes the difference.

Ice Cream

This is enough to tug at any mother's heart strings. He is in good hands, though, to be with a mother who takes the time to try and see the world through his eyes.

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