With God's help
Because loose teeth are gross but childhood is sweet and short

I got your mental illness number RIGHT HERE, Joss

I’m afraid I have to confess something to you all. It seems, in the process of planning this wedding, that I have lost my ever-loving mind. Entirely. Am wacko. Kindly send chocolate and soft shoes in which to shuffle about.

The other day I was driving along, peacefully traveling the highway, when I passed another car. The driver, a man, was passing a cell phone to the young boy in the back seat. From that gesture I deduced:

A) The man was handing his son the cell phone so he could talk to his mother, who

B) LOVED the man and his son OH SO VERY MUCH and

C) Would be EVER SO SAD with this dork of a phone-passing driver killed himself and their son on the highway but even so

D) Wasn’t it so very SWEET and DEAR that he was tenderly facilitating his son’s relationship with his mother?

And so I burst into tears and cried and cried for at least three miles.

Today I went to have my first fitting for the wedding dress. I drove there, fretting about everything that could go wrong and crying at songs on the radio. Seriously, don’t you wish you could hang out with me? But I got there, not late or mangled in a car accident, or with a dress that turned out to be half maroon due to some freak dressmaking accident that I’d just failed to notice the last time I peeked in the bag…

*pant, pant*

Anyhow, I arrived just fine. I wrestled my way into my weirdo bra, shoes, and dress, and set out to be fitted. And hey, you know what? Despite being made for an Amazon, the dress? She fits me fairly well. However, the bra I bought (and spent a good four times what I’m accustomed to spending on a bra) is NOT going to work. The seamstress (who is also our priest’s wife, and a dear person) hmmm-ed at my back and said,

“Oh, well, this isn’t going to work.”

“WHAT? WHAT? WHERE?” I replied in my gentle way.

“The bra comes up a bit too high back here.”

“OH NO.”

“It’s ok, we’ll just-“


“No, no, that won’t be necessary. Let’s just go ahead for now, and you can buy another bra.”

Well OF COURSE, I thought. A new bra. THAT would be a better plan than finding another dress. Kindly shut up now, Kira.

“Um…is that ok?” she asked.

Oh, answer her, then shut up.

“Yes! Not talking anymore now.” I said brightly. Shoot. I said that last part in the outside my head voice, didn’t I?

However, she’s accustomed to dealing with brides, so she didn’t bat an eye. She just went on pinning things, and calmly asked if I needed a drink of water or anything. I replied that I was fine, JUST FINE, and spent the rest of the visit wondering if lying to your priest’s wife sends you deeper into hell or not.

Five weeks, four days to go.

This is going to get interesting.



Hee hee. I love you. Kira Jane Marie Louise ....

Angela Giles Klocke

Let the merriment continue!


Bwahahahahaha. I can just see it now:
"Do you, Kira, take this valium--"



ROFL, ok, I agree, you've gone off the rails. That, or you haven't had enough practice at being mental and are having to learn on the fly. By the time I got married I had fully come to terms with the fact that I am a paranoid Murphy's-Law-believing freak and hence I was able to work around, and with, my personal species of insanity.

In my own personal instance of "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you", I caved to the little voice in my head that told me to make and bring an extra CD of our special first dance etc. music just in case the DJ lost the copy I'd given him, and you know what? THE DJ LOST THE CD, and came up to me when we arrived at the reception after the wedding to ask what songs did you want played again? Because I had listened to my paranoia I was able to calmly point him in the direction of the spare copy instead of bursting into hysterical tears and decapitating him.

So don't worry if you're mental. Think of it as an evolved response, somewhat like maternal protectiveness. ;-)

Mit Moi

Not that you asked for it, but de-lurking to say I enjoy reading your blog.

I can't wait to see the wedding pictures.

I found you via Mir ... lucky me!


Oh dear! Don't worry. All your anxiety will resolve itsself and you will be back to normal in, oh, five weeks and five days. ;)


Breathe, breathe, don't forget to breathe...


Listen to Amy and don't forget to breathe. I did similar things while planning my wedding three years ago. Our 3rd anniversary is coming up on March 1st though and life got much easier from the second we said I Do. The crying and hyper-ventilation quit.

Good Luck!


Planning my own wedding and searching other blogs about weddings I stumbled on to yours... hilarious! I feel your pain. Check out mine if you have the time!

Hula Doula

I only live a mere 20 miles away. I have vast experience in A.) catering (being that I owned a catering business for 8 years before I had HG) B.) doing a wedding on a budget (being that we did our wedding for 1,000 period!) C.) have a plithera of experience with brides due to point A! D.) I am a musician ( ex-concert pianist and vocalist)
If you should need sanity or peace of mind
just buzz me. You know how to reach me and I'm in the book. Just email me if you don't know how to reach me and I'll give you my number. No sense losing your mind. Any help you may need can easily be rendered!
Oh and Lamaze doesn't generally do anything for labor but it certainly does help for anxiety!


No one else seems to have mentioned this, but did you know that you can get some bra strap extender thingies that make the back into a low back. Okay, I didn't explain that very well... here, this website will show you what I mean http://www.maidenform.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=59240&parentCategoryId=1&categoryId=17

Much cheaper than buying a new bra :)

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