Finding the right one
Wait for my parenting how-to book, SURE to hit stores soon.

I'm back!

Hi, all! Miss me?

Ok, look, I’M SORRY. The thing is, I went away for Thanksgiving. Ten days I was gone, and before I left I remembered to water the plants, clean the rat’s cage, find Max’s Gameboy behind the gold chair in the living room so he could pack it and not freak out seventeen seconds after the plane took off, move the cat’s food and water bowl so Mom didn’t have to go upstairs to feed her, portion out a week-plus worth of allergy medication and vitamins for all who take them, pack our bags, clip the boys’ fingernails so they didn’t collect those grimy half moons of visible neglect, vacuum the floors…just BECAUSE, OK?, and purchase enough Diet Coke to see Mom through her time here alone.

But I forgot to mention I was leaving to y’all.

I also forgot to stop the newspaper delivery, which was unhelpful as my mom doesn’t like the newspaper much, except for Sundays and really, who doesn’t like the Sunday paper? Communists, that’s who.

Where was I?

Ah yes.

So I forgot the obligatory blog entry that says, HEY Y’ALL, I’ll be out of town for a few days, talk amongst yourselves! But I figured that would be ok, because I’d take my laptop along and check in from the road.

Ahem.

Steel yourself, because what I’m about to say may be…difficult for some to comprehend.

There was no access.

I mean eh, there was Ethernet access in the hotel the first night, but it was inconvenient to where I wanted to perch with my laptop. And then the second night I was at my dear aunt and uncle’s house, and their wireless password wasn’t working for some reason and the neighbor’s wireless that I was TOTALLY not pirating but my cousin Melyssa shamelessly was, kept dropping out. So I waited, and then we were at my grandmother’s house.

Heh.

This may surprise you, but Grandma? Doesn’t have wireless internet. Can you believe it?

So. There I was, surrounded by family I haven’t seen in ages, eating more food than any sane person should consume within the course of a YEAR, and introducing Clay to my dad’s side of the family. And not one bit of it did I blog.

So I got home last night and by the time I hauled myself up to bed and cozied up to my laptop, I was fried. Too fried to write. And again tonight I sat here, staring at the screen for a while.

There’s just too much to tell. Too many stories and moments and flashes of gratitude and sorrow. It was FAMILY, for heaven’s sake, and we all know how complicated THAT is. To give you an idea of how much family, there were 51 people at Thanksgiving dinner. I would LOVE to give you a snapshot of that madness, but *sigh I am weary. Too much.

SO! Let me say these following things:

1! The family LOVED Clay. Maybe more than me. At least three people gave me solemn looks and instructed me to HANG ON TO HIM, which hey, I PROMISE, ok? I am pretty fond of him myself, you know. Plus I suspect I may not be allowed back if I try to return without him.

2! The boys and I traveled with my cousin Melyssa and her kids, Dakota (13) and Myranda (10 but practically 11). My kids adore her kids. They had a wonderful time, and after breakfast this morning Tre actually burst into tears and said, “I MISS MY COUSINS.”

I don’t blame him either, because they are two very cool kids. And the five of them together? Priceless. After we landed in San Francisco (if you live there and would have met me, don’t yell at me, we didn’t stay there, but hurried off to FRESNO, if you can imagine, so I was already punished, ok?), we drove around in the rental van for a bit, admiring the views. Dakota intoned from his seat, “Look at that.

California

, the land of seals…sea gulls…the

Golden Gate

Bridge

…and vegetarians.”

“I want to see some seals,” Myranda sighed.

“I want to see the sea gulls,” Max chimed in.

“I want to see the veggitarians!” bellowed Raphael.

So great is the love between those cousins that when everyone laughed, Raphael didn’t mind one bit.

3! Did I mention I’m SORRY about the whole disappearing thing? I AM. I’m going to blog simply ALL THE TIME now, just for all of you who actually noticed when I was gone. TRULY.

4! I believe that if you ignore holiday pounds they will go away from the neglect. I’m fairly sure that the ham that has migrated to my thighs hasn’t been there long enough to get a solid grip. If my theory turns out to be wrong, expect much wailing and hand wringing about my thighs.

Stupid thighs.

5! Happy Thanksgiving. Better late then never, right?

Comments

Mir

I shall send you the hospital bills from MY CORONARY.

Welcome home. ;)

Mary Jo

Welcome home and Happy Thanksgiving ;)

Glad to hear that everyone loved Clay! YAY!

David

Okay, you're forgiven. As long as you send me some leftovers. Pass the pie, please. ;-)

Sarah

Glad to see you back! I sorta figured you'd gone somewhere for Thanksgiving. I do happen to live near San Fran, and I don't envy you the Fresno part. Hooray for big happy families that like each other! I have a small neutral extended family, large sections of which *don't* like each other, so I guess I'll have to depend on my husband's relatives for positive familial communion.

Mit_Moi

I think being in Fresno or any other part of the SJV for 10 days is more than enough punishment for not letting us know you were gone! And much better news than what my imagination was creating after you found the "perfect one". You know, the whole "Murphy's Law" effect ;)

Amanda

As much as I would've loved to meet you, I won't even go to Fresno to visit my OWN family. And don't worry about your thighs - they go UNDER the wedding dress where no one can see them!

Jenny

Welcome back! I was voting for an elopement, but a family visit was my second guess...

Willena

You know what you do when you are going to spend a week with family members who don't have a computer? You take along a spiral notebook and a pen, and spend so much time writing that they all want to know what you are writing about and why! Ask me how I know. :oP

Last December, traveled 2400 miles by bus to visit my mom in my home town--my first visit home in 21 years--and that's what I did. 54 pages of scribbled notes to transcribe into several very long blog posts when I got home. ;-)

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