Signs you're nowhere near ready for Christmas, and it's starting to stress you out a bit
Christmas Theatre

Remember me talking about Craig James, the boy who lives across the street? Tre’s friend?

Last night he was in a car with his brother, Zach, who turned 13 today. Their teenaged brother, Scott, was driving. They were on their way to have a birthday dinner of pizza, when someone ran a red light and blindsided them.

Zach and Scott are ok. Some broken bones and cuts, but they’re going to be all right.

Craig is not ok.

I spoke to his mom today and she said brightly, “Well, he just got out of surgery a half hour ago, and he’s still alive!” There was a pause while we both tried to think of some way to understand what she was saying. Craig is alive right now, but that’s no longer a given, moment to moment. They don’t know if he’ll survive, if he’ll ever regain consciousness.

My mom says children are terrorists, from the moment they’re conceived. Once they exist there is born within you the knowledge that they could die. Somehow, for some reason, God saw fit to make our children mortal.

Mortal.

How do you live with that? How do you walk around and love someone that much and know that somebody who didn’t realize the light was red – RED, for GOD’S SAKE – could snuff that person out?

Tonight we took the boys to the zoo, to see the Wild Lights exhibit. The zoo has been draped in a million Christmas lights, and Clay, his niece Katie, the boys and I wandered through the cold and dazzling display for a few hours tonight. At one point we rode the carousel. Raphael, being less than 42 inches tall, needed me to stand next to him as he rode a wooden elephant. I stood there, one hand resting casually behind him on the elephant; not letting on that my job was to watch him, to guard against him falling. He gripped the brass pole tightly and looked around, his brown eyes glowing under his blue knit cap. He was thrilled when the carousel lurched to life and the music played. After a few moments he realized I was still standing there, protectively next to him. He scowled at me and waved a hand.

“Yoo go stand over there. On dat sidewalk. Ah’ll be RIGHT HERE. Yoo go away.” I shook my head at him and watched him bob up and down above me. He is certain he is invincible, that the world is safely within his grasp. The worry of grownups is beyond him. Even Tre, my sturdy 9 year old boy, understands better than Raphi the concept of danger. Today Tre climbed into my lap and cried for his friend Craig. Huge tears rolled down his cheeks, unchecked, even though Tre is usually certain he is too old to cry. Even Tre has tasted loss in a way that Raphi remains untouched by.

Raphael was annoyed by me, by my hand that stayed resolutely behind him. But I wasn’t leaving his side. There is so much that is outside of my control. I will stand at the ready, grateful to do what I can.

Please pray for Craig James, for his mom Sue, for their whole family. Although this is small in comparison, please pray for Tre, whose heart already carries wounds that cry out, “DON’T LEAVE ME.”

Pray for all of us who love children who are so irrationally mortal.

Comments

Mir

((((hugs))))

Heather

Oh god. Oh... I need to get off this computer and not read any more sad stuff. That is horrible. My heart goes out to that family.

shannon

In my prayers, Kira... Hug Tre for me.

Joshilyn

Oh Kira. Crap. That poor family. They are on my prayers. Please let us know how he does...

lizardek

Geez louise, Kira, words fail me. That poor family. :( And all our children. Man, you hit it dead on. *hugs*

Mary Jo

Prayers will be said. (((Everyone)))

Sheryl

Oh that poor family. I cannot fathom...and poor Tre. Poor everyone. (((hugs)))

Amanda

I try to warn my baby-free friends about how awful it is to love your children. It's the worst kind of love.

And, of course, the best.

I will keep Craig in my thoughts. And Tre.

kim

Kira,
My heart goes out to your friends, and of course Tre.
I will keep you all in my prayers.

Carrie

I'm typing through tears as I write this, but they are all in my thoughts and prayers. That is the worst thing to have to go through. Hug Tre for me.

tracie

How awful. It's just horribly sad when any child is hurt, sick, or dying. I dealt with this last year- when a very good friend of my (then) 13 year old died of cancer.

Cancer? In a child! How unfair!

I'll be praying for the family and yours. I can't imagine being that mother that might lose one of her babies.

Craig Tholson

I am Craig James' Dad. Thank you for loving my son, and especially, thank you for wanting him to eat all your jam! I promise you he will be back in full form, eager to devour your sacred jam. We have inordinate humor in our blood, and tend to joke about serious things, but know that we consider your friendship and concern to be most precious, even if you hear us joking about it all.

Megan

Hello,
I am Craig James's sister Megan I don't know if you remember me but i just want you to know how appreciative i am that you wrote these blogs! I was googleing Craig James today thinking about the accident that happened 7 years ago. I was trying to see if there was any information that they had of him on the internet (because i don't remember very much of what happened that night of the accident i was only in 3rd grade). When i saw this blog it put so many different emotion in my head. Even though this blog made me very sad it made me realize how far Craig James has come how much progress he has made! He truly is a miricle! Thank you again! and i hope your family is doing well!! This blog truly reminded me how lucky we are that Craig james is in are lives to this day!

Megan

Btw the way Craig (not my dad because if you were my dad you would've care about me and Craig James!!) you were never around enough to know if Craig James had made any progress or if hes in full form!!!! I don't know what you mean when people joke about serious things because i have NEVER ever joked about what happened to Craig James!!!!

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