Two Examples

I'm so cool.

Guess what I did today? Go ahead, GUESS!
*stares at you annoyingly for a moment*
Ok, I WENT ROLLER SKATING!
Yes, I am very cool. You know, about twenty years ago, that is. TODAY all I am is a 33 year old woman who should know better. But today I dragged two dear friends along to the roller rink. We left all our children at home, and strapped on old skates and hit the floor. Um…literally in my case. More on that later.
It was sooooo much fun. The rink was having a Labor Day skate special, and the place was packed, but we still had a great time. It didn’t take long for Amy, Tracey, and I to get a little more comfortable on our skates, and we tore the place UP! Or…went around the rink repeatedly in an orderly fashion, occasionally shooting stern looks at swift-moving children. But STILL!
At one point they had a SPEED SKATE, wherein they allowed all the age/gender groups to take turns skating AS FAST AS THEY COULD. They started with all girls under the age of 10, and eventually moved up to girls over the age of 16. Well, with Tracey, Amy, and me, that made about six hearty souls that got out there to speed skate. And all the young twerplings waiting on the side? Sooo impressed with us. Oh yeah.
Some kids leaned over and held out their hands for us to slap on our way past, surely thinking, “Wow. I hope to be THAT COOL when I’M ancient.” I was so thrilled with my coolness – and speed – that I tried to smack every young hand that was reached out.
And I totally wiped out and tumbled right into the wall.
Yup.
‘Cause, did I mention how cool I am?
And now, to emphasize how very OLD I am, here is a list of things I thought today that I probably DIDN’T think the last time I went skating, about twenty years ago.

Wow, I’d better take some ibuprofen when I get home.
Uh-oh, I don’t think I left a number where my parents could reach me. I’d better call them.
Ouch.
Does this count as weight-bearing exercise?
Why does the music have to be so LOUD?
Ouch.
I could go for some tea.
What’s with all the small people darting in front of me? HEY! You’re supposed to go AROUND. In an orderly fashion, thankyouverymuch.
Ouch.
I wonder if they disinfect these skates well between people?
I’d better get going home soon if I’m going to have time to clean the bathroom.
Ouch.
Geez, I could use a nap.
Ouch.

Comments

Mary Jo

HAHA... I SO want to go skating!! I haven't been in years, but I have been browsing for skates online. I loved it as a kid, but could never get into roller blades. I bought 4-5 pairs trying to find some I could actually STAND in, let alone trying to blade. I finally gave up, and have only longed for good ol' roller skates. WooHoo!!

Mir

Hee! Glad to hear the skating was a relative success. How do you feel today, old woman?? ;)

unruly

i've always thought that you are relentlessly cool.

what just occurred to me, though, is that we're almost the same age, only 2-3 years apart. you, the scion of maturity and me still the irresponsible midget.

both exceedingly cool, however, perhaps you more than i.

Heather

I have rollerblades. Err... well... I HAD rollerblades. I left them in Dad's garage when I moved to Alabama with hubby. I kept meaning to get them when we visited. I don't know if they are still there or not. LOL!

mark

I loved to roller skate. It was a fun Saturday afternoon when I was fourteen. Going backwards was the "cool" thing.

Keri

Hmm. This just reminds me of the last time my mom decided to get out her rollerskates and head off to the local rink. She was a great skater - she loved going backwards and just smoothly circling the rink (she was in her early 50's at the time) while all the whippersnappers were dodging and weaving. It took her back to her youth. She was so excited when they built the rink in my old hometown so she could pull out her skates from those teen years - yep, the original ones that even I had used in my teen years to skate around and around the basement with. So one night she is skating backwards around the rink and she hit a piece of chewing gum on the floor which stopped her skate cold and dropped her. She made the mistake of using her hands to break her fall - breaking both wrists.

Keep an eye out for gum and roll if you fall. Don't try to stop yourself with your hands...

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