Two Good Things
Believe it, Baby.

Fun In The Car!

And now, for your driving endlessly around summertime entertainment, I present FUN GAMES TO PLAY IN THE CAR. Exhaustively researched by me and my boys.
First of all you must have at least one hearty round of “Oh NO I FORGOT!” This game goes like this: Everyone mills about distractedly whilst Mama storms around, screaming, “GET IN THE CAR! NOW! WE ARE LATE!” When she takes you by the shoulders and physically points you at the door, amble over to the car, nodding vaguely when she asks you if you have X (whatever item it is that you NEED to accomplish what you are setting out to do). Once everyone is strapped safely in, and you are started on your journey, wait about one and a half blocks before startling in your seat. “OH NO!” you exclaim, “I forgot X!” Mama may look like she’s banging her head against the steering wheel at this point. That’s all part of the fun.
SPEAKING of FUN! Do not miss the classic entertainment of “POKE AT MAMA’S TRAUMATIC FEELING OF FAILURE.” Once you’ve left the house (the second time, after “OHNO I FORGOT!”), start musing quietly to yourself in the back seat. Just loud enough to be heard in the front, sigh, “Did I brush my teeth? Huh. I don’t think I did. Mama SAID to…then I saw that bug…is that a cavity I feel? Hey, Mama? Should teeth hurt?” You may see that funny vein pop out on Mama’s temple. First person to spot the vein WINS!
Then there are the games that don’t directly torture Mama, except by their sheer repetition and mindlessness. For this variety of game, we can’t get enough of “AM I MOVING MY TOUNGE OR NOT?” Max especially enjoys this game. He calls out the query, then demands you look at him. He clamps his lips shut, and drops his jaw a bit, and the IDEA is that you guess if his tongue is moving within the cavern of his mouth. Here’s a hint about this particular game.
Another fun game is “I know what song is next on the tape!” That’s pretty much all there is to that game. The boys like to announce that they’re sure they know what the next song is, but won’t tell you what it is, in case they are wrong. But it adds that note of repetitiveness to the sing-along tape in the car. God knows what the sing-along tape needs is added repetitiveness.
Finally, a fun time is always had by all during a round of “FREAK OUT BECAUSE MAX’S NOSE IS BLEEDING.” This is a rare treat, because you can’t always count on Max having a bloody nose. BUT WHEN HE DOES! If one child starts shouting commands (“Mama, he’s bleeding! He is! Give me tissues! Where are the tissues? He’s getting it all over his shirt! Oh, it’s so GROSS! Give me tissues! HEY, I THINK I’M GONNA THROW UP!”), while another child starts shrieking in sheer horror, pretty soon the bedlam within the car is unmatched.
Plus there’s blood everywhere, which is always cool.
So there you go. Enjoy your summer travels. No need to thank me. I’ll be hiding under the bed.



I think Mama needs a vacation. ;)


Don't forget to try those family classics like: "He's looking at me again!" and "He won't stay on his side of the seat!" or that all-time favorite: "I feel like I'm going to throw up"

Heather McCutcheon

Honestly, my co-workers think I'm insane because I giggle at your blog so much! You fuuuuny!


Oh goodness. I remember traveling in the car with my much-older brothers when I was a little kid. There was a bit of a spread in ages between us and THAT was difficult. With three right together like you have? What an adventure! I agree with Mir... Sounds like Mama needs a vacation!


Mama does need a vacation. Why don't y'all drive on out here to LA?

By the way, I've not seen any nagging posts about getting published lately - here's mine. I can't wait for the day that I'll have my autographed 1st Edition Kira on the bookshelves.


Oh yes indeed, everyday in my car. LOL!! I can totally relate.


You make it sound so fun...

Amma D

A Vacation!? Are you people nuts! First of all, if she gets a vacation, who do you think will be riding around in the car with "THEM". You? No, me. Not going to happen! don't work. When you come home it is right back to the car trips. It is pain and exhaustion and trauma that make great writing and humor. I say, lock 'em all in the car. No more of this vacation stuff, people.


Don't forget the "How Do You Spell" game, in which you become a one-woman spelling bee for your child's personal amusement. The thing about this game is that you really can't win, in the sense that if you play along for any amount of time, you have that mind-numbing repetitiveness thing going on, and if you don't, you feel like a horrible mother for not encouraging said child's reading skills and general love of learning. It's a beautiful thing.


Hilarious!!! If I was you I would never take kids on car trips, but if you have to I would checkout games to play in the car. There are plenty of fun games to play in the car. I found a website you should checkout!

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