Wrong number 101
April 12, 2004
My parents have a phone number that seems to have come with an added extra feature of oddness. Since they first got this number four years ago, they have received more wrong number calls than ever before. At least twice a week someone calls, looking for someone else. Something weird about the wiring, I suppose. Since Mom and Dad aren’t here during the day, I answer their phone for them. This leaves me to deal with many of the errant calls. So after a while I’ve come to some conclusions about the way people react when they dial the wrong number. And here it is, Kira’s primer on how to respond to having reached the wrong number.
If you call and ask for “Chippy” and I respond politely that you must have the wrong number and you tell me with thinly disguised irritation that you meant “Chippy Anderson,” you need to accept that I am intelligent enough to know if there is any person by the name Chippy in my household. Have trust in your fellow human being. And get a friend with a real name.
If you are a man asking in a tremulous voice for “Jenny” or “Sue” or “Candy” and my response that you have the wrong number makes you fall silent for a moment, then apologize in a low tone, take heart. So one woman gave you a fake number – it doesn’t mean you’re a loser! And no, under no circumstances do I want to talk to you.
If you’re a woman and upon hearing my voice you snap that you want to talk to “Sam – NOW”, chill. When I tell you this isn’t his number, try dialing it again. DON’T hit redial seventeen times and hang up in a huff each time I answer. Good heavens, woman. If you’re that sure Sam’s a cheat, what are you doing calling him?
If you’re a child looking for your friend “Megan” and you get confused when she doesn’t turn out to live here, don’t give up and lay down the phone without hanging up. I don’t want to listen to you watching Sponge Bob. I have allllllll the Sponge Bob anyone needs in their life.
Whoever you are, if you get angry when I tell you that you have the wrong number, don’t snarl the number you had meant to dial at me. It’s just not my fault or an issue I need to spend another millisecond on. And don’t swear at me. Please, just apologize politely and hang up. After all, don’t you have some important road rage to get to?
And on the other end of the spectrum, it’s ok; it really is, if you somehow got connected with the wrong number. It doesn’t ruin my day or anything. After the third apology I start to get a touch annoyed. No, don’t then apologize for being annoying, please. Didn’t you just call for Jenny? Really, consider getting out more.
And everyone, please ascertain that the person you’d intended to call is the one actually answering the phone before beginning your conversation. I don’t ever need to answer the phone again to be greeted with, “Ok, so I puked again! And all I had this time was cottage cheese and grape juice. (pause) Anna?”
There, now. Don’t we all feel better?
I get calls for the local IHop, they do carry out and no one seems to notice when I anwser with my family name. They give me their order and then don't believe me when I say this isn't IHop. Now I just take their orders, I do say you have the wrong number, but if your really want to place your order I'll take it, just don't get mad when you get to IHop and it's not ready ;)
Posted by: Linda D. | April 13, 2004 at 05:55 AM
"Didn’t you just call for Jenny" - No, that number is 867-5309. (grin)
You must admit, the numerical oddity of the repeated nature of the number and what those digits are and what some purile brains might think are funny could lead to such a number being given, regularly, as a "fake number" to other people.
Posted by: JohnH | April 13, 2004 at 08:19 AM
I get wrong numbers at work all the time..and it drives me nuts..when i answer the phone in a clear and pleasant voice..."Good Evening, ( place of business name here), Kim speaking, how can I help you!"
"THIS IS WHERE? "..I repeat the name of business...I DIDN'T CALL THAT PLACE....(.i beg to differ but i think i just answered the phone when it rang here and since i have been here for 11 yrs i think i know where i am...of course i don't say this but its what i want to say!).......and they hang up....ARGGGHHH!!!!
Ps... JohnH..now i have tha song in my head!
Posted by: kim | April 13, 2004 at 09:19 AM
Every year when the weather gets warm, I start getting phone calls for a pool company. People who want parts and help setting up their pools. Only I'm not them. Sometimes its very hard to convince them, that I can't help them, and no I have no idea what the pool company's new number is. Really, why would I? How could I?
Posted by: Linda Sherwood | April 13, 2004 at 09:48 AM
We have the same number with a different prefix as a family member of this very gruff ex-Marine... Excuse me, I suppose once a Marine, always a Marine - Semper Fi! Anyway, he calls around 7 am to talk to his son/daughter whoever it is and when I answer very sleepily he grouches into the phone, "ARE YOU STILL IN BED?" or "ARE YOU UP YET?" or "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" And I say, "I'm sorry but you have the wrong number." and for the longest time he didn't believe me and responded with something like, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER???" or "LIKE HELL I DO!" It was like a nightmare. I think he has FINALLY programmed their number on a speed dial because I haven't gotten one now for a long time. But they sure were regular for a long time. Drove me NUTS.
Posted by: Keri/Crazy Girl | April 14, 2004 at 09:31 AM
When we moved into the house that we were renting in 2001 we realized our number was similar to someone else in town. Our town had 2 exchanges 293 and 294. This family had the same number as us except we were 293 and they were 294. All I did was say hello and right away the caller would start talking non stop. I couldn't cut in. Finally I would ask who they were looking for and I would get a startled, "Ah, is this Ann?" After a while I learned that Dan and Ann were a happily married couple with 2 kids. They were also soccer coaches in our town (Ya so the flyers with their name on it that were plastered all over town for sign ups and stuff had MY phone number to call..ooops, a typo!)They sounded like a great family...lol...never did get to meet them but I talked to some interesting people!
Posted by: Robin P | September 26, 2004 at 11:47 AM