Why I can't blog tonight
April 22, 2004
I’m sorry, everyone. I simply can’t think of anything to write about tonight. I’ve done everything I can think of to jog loose some sort of blog. I read all my favorite blogs. I followed links on their blogs to other blogs. Whoo, you can easily slip into odd territory there. Anyhow. I watched a Strong Bad short (this one’s still my favorite). I reread everyone’s comments from yesterday. I looked at the ceiling.
The dishwasher finished its cycle. The house was silent.
See, it’s not my fault. I’m far too downtrodden to blog tonight. It’s snowing. Yes, snowing. People kept telling me all day that the forecasters are predicting up to 20 inches of snow. 20 inches! I don’t listen to the forecasters or meteorologists or hateful rumor mongerers or whatever they like to be called. There’s this sick relationship between them and Denverites. It starts with the meteorologists. They take a haphazard glance at their Super Duper Doppler 98,000, notice a faint smudge and decide the sky is falling. That or the next biggest blizzard EVER is bearing down on Colorado. They race for their TV studios.
Stupid and also mean meteorologist: “By morning you can expect to see anywhere from four to a hundred bazillionty nine inches of snow. Particularly in this area [sweeping motion of hand that takes in most of the state], concentrated over any recently sprouted lettuce or flowering apple trees. No really. It may have fallen already. Have you looked?”
So once this “information” is out there, the people of Denver take it and set about the official city pastime – trying to scare others with weather news.
“Didja hear Mike Nelson? He said to expect a new ice age by morning. There’s actually a glacier poised right on the edge of LoDo. Yup. We’re all gonna die.”
After much frantic passing around of rumors of snow, once the city has worn itself out by shopping for bread and milk (WHY mostly bread and milk, I dunno. But apparently if snow hits your house and you don’t have it you can go directly to jail. I’m pretty sure.), we all fall into bed. Overnight the “great storm” usually passes, leaving the merest traces of snow, and life goes on.
So when people kept telling me about the great snow headed our way, I satisfied myself with glaring at them. As if, my look said. I’m not afraid of you. Also, you have something between your teeth. Mean, I know. But I don’t take kindly to weather fear mongering. I’m an activist.
But apparently they were…in some sense of the word…a little…right.
*deep sullen sigh*
All the trees are leafed out. If it really snows that much, branches will break. By three days from now the tender green spring scenery outside will be a sodden mass of dead leaves, limp, dull flower remains, and broken branches.
Besides which, I’m so sick of snow I could scream.
So you see, I couldn’t possibly blog tonight.
You blogged just fine and didn't even know it ;) Sorry to hear about the snow, I'll try to send you some of the 80+ temps from VA.
Posted by: Linda Dupie | April 23, 2004 at 07:03 AM
See, proof you should move back to New Mexico, not so much as a single snow flake all winter here! (Not that I'm being selfish here or anything!)
Posted by: Kim | April 23, 2004 at 09:06 AM
There's a good reason snow is a four-letter word. And what exactly is doppler? Our local news station apparently has "street-level" doppler, which as far as I can tell is when they superimpose a really lame street map over some photo that is supposed to be depicting cold fronts and hot fronts and dire forecasts all around.
Posted by: Linda Sherwood | April 23, 2004 at 09:15 AM
Same thing here with hurricanes. As soon as one starts heading up the coastline the store aisles become impassible. Bread, milk, water and Beenie-Weenies disappear as people shoving shopping carts loaded with cases of instant food fight over well-aged bananas. It's scary. :)
Posted by: Jensgalore | April 23, 2004 at 09:20 AM
Ah, New Mexico...
"O, Fair New Mexico,
We love, we love you so,
Our hearts with pride o'reflow,
No matter where we go.
O, Fair New Mexico,
We love, we love you so,
The grandest state to know
Posted by: JohnH | April 23, 2004 at 11:10 AM
I think you just blogged. ;)
Posted by: Marcia | April 23, 2004 at 11:19 AM
My MIL told me it was snowing there when she called yesterday. I told her in no uncertain terms that she was to keep it in CO. It was not to pass beyond the CO borders (she's out in the CO national monument - out near Grand Junction) and that if she allowed it to spread east and make it to WI, I would take it very personally. It's my fault it stayed there and dumped so much on you.
Posted by: Keri | April 23, 2004 at 12:09 PM
Ummm, John, and where are you living? I think that song should include the line "but no one can get a decent job here so they all move to Colorado."
Posted by: Groovecatmom | April 23, 2004 at 01:24 PM
Well, yeah. That pretty much says it all. Hence mostly fair and kinda alright Denver, but that's not as catchy.
Posted by: JohnH | April 23, 2004 at 04:53 PM
What would have really made this entry a real Blog is if you had, say, typed something. Oh wait...you did. You Blogged! :)
Posted by: Angela Giles Klocke | April 24, 2004 at 07:54 AM
OH man, John. Now I'm singing "Oh Fair New Mexico" - and it's ALL YOUR FAULT! You're right, "Kinda Fair Denver, We don't hate you much" really doesn't have the same ring, does it?
Keri, I'll forgive you this one snowstorm, but NO MORE!
Posted by: Kira | April 25, 2004 at 10:56 PM