What a weekend we’ve had
I’m back! And I can

Ok, everyone, brace yourselves. I

Ok, everyone, brace yourselves. I won't be posting for a few days. I know, I know. Waves of disappointment. Soldier on, brave souls.
See, I'm having my lasik surgery done tomorrow. I went to the doctor's office today for my pre-op check and they did a very mean thing to me. They made me watch a video explaining the procedure and possible complications. ALL the possible complications. Picture this: I'm sitting there, madly signing forms, clutching my many boxes of eye drops and medications, and the patient relations person tells me I need to watch this video. "Oh, no," I explained kindly, "I don't want to know. But thank you." She smiled ever so sweetly and replied, "You have to, though. Otherwise we can't say you gave informed consent for the procedure, and that's not good." I tried patting her arm reassuringly. "It's ok, I'll insist I was informed, should I be asked." She patted my arm right back. I was annoyed with the dueling reassurances. "I'm sorry, our insurance requires this. Don't worry, it's short." She hit play and stepped out.
On screen a man explained earnestly that the procedure I have chosen is elective surgery. "This means that it's not necessary, that the only reason you're having this done is because you're so unbelievably self-centered and controlling that you'd risk blindness and death just because you don't feel like dealing with glasses or contacts anymore. Except you probably still will have to, because anything could happen. You could end up with worse vision than you started with. And BOY do we laugh when that happens!"
Or something like that. I managed to make my way through the whole thing, only closing my eyes when they showed the flap being cut in the cornea. Let me repeat: the FLAP being CUT in the CORNEA. At that point they talked about how sometimes that flap just falls right off. Whoops!
Anyhow, I survived the video. I survived three weeks of wearing my glasses. I have all my prescriptions and child-care and driving plans in place. By this time tomorrow I will be...a person with different vision of some sort. Hopefully better. I dunno. But I will be gorked on Valium, and not supposed to be looking at a computer for a few days. So I'll catch up with you all soon. Think happy corneal thoughts for me, and if I don't get the chance to say it before Thursday, happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for everyone who takes the time to read my ramblings, even you Canadians who already raced ahead of the rest of us to being thankful and overfed. Cheaters.
Oh, and if you're looking for a time-waster to fill my place, check out the ugly wedding dress of the day. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but this woman cracks me up.

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