This afternoon I was making fudge. This was a challenge, as Sophia simply Would Not be put down today. Dad had taken the boys away for an adventure (one that included both candle making AND poking a fire - I don't ask), so it was just me and Princess Pick-Me-Up.
There I was, with a baby slung on my hip, my left breast stippled with tiny fingerprints in marshmallow cream, and every surface in my kitchen covered with cooking detritus (this does not require quite as much detritus as you might think).
With the boys gone the house was far too quiet, so I turned on the TV for background noise, and I ended up half listening to a cooking show. The host was giving suggestions for appetizers and drinks that you could throw together in a hurry for those unexpected guests.
Unexpected guests, I mused. Who ARE these fabled unexpected guests?
Seriously, it seems like every Holiday Hospitality article I have ever read has tips for dealing with these people. WHO ARE THEY? And what sort of power do they wield, that people feel obligated to bust out a full buffet for them when they do drop in randomly? If a friend of mine showed up, unannounced, I wouldn't feel guilty that I hadn't lit candles before I answered the door. I'd say, "OH, hey! Come on in. Just sort of...kick those toys to the side. Would you like some...um...Cheerios and mango? Because I have some stuck to my shirt, right here." I might offer to make some tea (I find most occasions can only be improved by tea). But for the most part, hey, this is my life. If you want the pretty picture version of it, let me know you're coming. Even then, no guarantees, am I right, Amy?
But I don't find that to be a problem, because I seriously cannot remember the last time I had unexpected visitors. It seems to happen with maddening regularity in the world of magazine writers and TV hosts, but IT NEVER HAPPENS TO ME.
Do the Unexpected Guests hate me? Am I the only one they're not terrorizing with their hospitality spot-checks? Am I UNPOPULAR? Do they visit everyone except me?
These are the questions that would keep me up at night if I weren't currently so sleep deprived that I doze through red lights.