So...not EXACTLY Love Thursday.

Oh. Em. Gee, y'all.

Raphael was just biting into a Nik-L-Nip and he somehow managed to turn it into an indoor sprinkler system, thereby doing the ONE AND ONLY thing I can imagine to make a Nik-L-Nip a worse candy than it already is.

"I don't know what's WRONG with this thing," he shouted, "every time I bite into it, it just...SQUIRTS EVERYWHERE!"

Get that? EVERY time. Because after the FIRST time it squirted everywhere, clearly further experimentation was required.

Max just read me his history lesson, and he started out using a goofy voice. Like, could there be anything more annoying? Why don't you just POKE POKEY THINGS in my EARS?

Two days ago Sophia's sippy cup had an inaccurately assembled valve, post-washing, and instead of her having to SUCK on the thing to get liquid out, it would gently dribble into her mouth, over her rosebud lips, and down her front. She thought that was awesome. Ever since then, when I put the PROPERLY ASSEMBLED sippy cup to her lips, she sits perfectly still, waiting for the dribbly joy and looking at me with "you can't make me suck" eyes.

Also? Don't get me started on sippy cup designs.

Speaking of Sophia, she is practically crawling, and I've gone on a mighty campaign to keep the floors clean since she's all mobile and fascinated by the small and the filthy (Actual conversation the other day during a diaper change - "Oh, hey, here's the leaf she was gagging on last night." "Oh, good."). I sweep every day, MULTIPLE TIMES. Yesterday I mobilized an enormous floor clean up, with the moving of furniture and sweeping and mopping with vinegar-and-water goodness. Today? The floor feels like the entryway of a Wal-Mart under my feet, and when I pick the baby up as she tumbles past, she is sort of...frosted with bits of leaves and dog hair and grit.

Oh! And the DOG! The dog is confused by the warm weather and she keeps going in and out and in and out AND. IN. AND. OUT. Every three and a half minutes she suddenly realizes that she needs to be on the OTHER side of the kitchen door, and she immediately trots over to it and starts to whine.

Clay left the sandwich bags on the counter this morning when he was making his lunch. Usually I wouldn't even notice this, but today I'm pretty sure he did it because he wants me to just LIE DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND PERISH. Obviously. The FILTHY floor.

My point (YES, I HAVE A POINT, JUDGE-Y JUDGE-ER) was supposed to be that I am clearly dying of a brain tumor. Seriously, that is exactly what I came here to tell you, then what do I find? That blog has already been written, by a much better writer than me.

I'm going back to bed. And I'm taking the leftover Halloween candy with me.

Comments

[Groovecatmom]

No judgy-judger here. No, sirree. More like a fellow commiserator. Is that a word? I am certain I am going to have a real-live kill-me heart attack in the next year. Maybe they can bury us next to each other. Can I just hijack your comments a minute and tell you all about the shenanigans at my house? Mostly all involving the juvenile feline. Oh, wait. There's too much. The only things she has going for her right now are 1. she uses the litterbox, and b. she sleeps all night. Or at least, she is quiet. I only see the dirt on the floor from the plants in the light of day.

[Clay]

I left the bread out thinking that the boys would see it and not have to wake you up and ask where it was! I love you.

[Aimee]

You know... I think this is going around. Just in general. 2009 has been a doozy of a year. Last night I called 2009 some foul names, and I really MEANT them.

[Cheryl]

Clay - my hubby leaves the toaster out every morning for me to make my toast. I have not eaten toast since 2001. We have been married 27 years. I love him.

Kira - I have leftover Halloween candy - and just got home from a rather interesting-in-a-crappy-way day at work. Heading for bed too.

[Kristy]

Have Reese's, Will Travel

[Susan]

I'm confused about the idea of leftover Halloween candy.