And yes, I know I'm overreacting.
Love is there

The Kira-wisdom is FREE. And WORTH IT.

Tonight I made pasta with artichoke hearts and bacon for dinner, and the bacon was the "healthy" kind of bacon - all nitrate free and made from "welfare considerate pork." Which makes me think of a bunch of pigs, all hunkered down in their mud, intensely discussing the plight of the working poor. But that is NOT what it means. It means that the pigs were happy and carefree and treated well...right up until they were slaughtered to make bacon for me. I had bought the bacon during a fit of conscience when I was at the health-food store, and it had worried me from the fridge ever since. I was sure it would taste awful, because the last time I tried healthy bacon, it tasted like...something healthy. And really, there is no reason in this world to eat bacon that doesn't make your eyes roll back in your head a little. So for years I've been slowly killing my family with unhealthy bacon that doesn't even care about the working poor, and every time I tossed a pound of that callous death in my shopping cart, I would feel bad, yet whine in my head but the other stuff tastes ICKY.

My point is that I finally bought the good, socially enlightened kind of bacon and it tasted great. Really. I liked it better than the thick-cut, nitrate-rich kind I usually get. So if you've been killing your family slowly too, out of fear of the taste left in the void of nitrates, FEAR NOT THE HEALTHY BACON.

Of course, there is still the fact that it costs twice as much. One could say the answer lies in eating less bacon, but then again one could say WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? STOP IT WITH THE CRAZY TALK.

And yes, my children LOVE pasta with artichoke hearts and bacon, which actually means that they love pasta and bacon. And they pick out the artichoke hearts, gagging a little, and put them on their dad's plate. Such sophisticated palates, I know. Some of them even gingerly pluck out the small bits of sage and make tiny green haystacks of them.

Anyhow, my bacon epiphany may not be all that fascinating, but it left me feeling all successful and welfare considerate and surrounded by children who won't eat artichoke hearts, so I thought I would share my insight with you.

Now it's YOUR TURN. Enlighten me. Tell me what you learned this week. Or at least assure me your kids are food weirdos too.



Comments

natasha the exile on Mom Street

Mir originally sent me over, and I've been enjoying getting to know your lovely family ever since.

What I learned this week is that angels are real. Really.

I'm not trying to needlessly plug my blog (tacky!) but I read your question and felt compelled to answer it. Here you go: https://exileonmomstreet.blogspot.com/

Groovecatmom

Something about "healthy bacon" just doesn't sound right. I am pretty sure that half the allure of bacon is in the fact that it is not, in fact, healthy. But since I am currently skeeved out on beef, maybe I'll pop in Vitamin Cottage for some healthy bacon. Brand name, please?

Mir

I learned that the difference in appetite between a teenage boy and a pubescent girl lies not in the amount consumed, but in the carnage left behind afterwards. (Case in point: Girlchild orders pancakes at Shoney's She receives four pancakes as large as her head, easily a couple of pounds of carby goodness. She will take the excess with her in a styrofoam container and later the container will be found LICKED CLEAN, with "Pancakes, YUMMY YUMMY!" carved into the lid by on small fingernail. You're welcome!)

Christine

While I don't claim to feed my family very organically, we do eat somewhat healthy meals fairly regularly. How is that for non-comittal? Anyway, my little Bug peels corn dogs, only eating the dog. Only likes red grapes, no green or black thank you much. Will eat canteloupe until his little skin is orange but won't touch watermelon or honeydew. Will dip any and everything in ketsup, including fruit (GAG) but hates hates hates to have things touching unless he has determined that they should be dunked or drowned. Maybe it is just that he is two?

Jamie

I learned that I need the recipe for pasta with artichoke hearts and bacon and sage. Pretty please?

kerri

I try to be the good habit encouraging, healthy variety providing maker of meals... But 2/3 of my kids reject almost everything and beg for plain noodles or bread with jam instead. The result is often kids that eat their weight (or more) in breakfast foods and then starve except fruit or crackers as snacks the rest of the day.

Amy

My oldest daughter at one point in her teen years declared herself to be a "vegetarian." "None of those steaks for me, please" or "I CAN'T eat a breast of fried chicken!" was all that I would hear. So what WOULD she eat???? Hot dogs and hamburgers! They aren't real meat don't you know?

My next daughter would cry a river if we ever even remotely considered the possibility of ordering pizza with (shudder) pepperoni. Only cheese pizza was acceptable. Of course, as soon as her plate was fixed she would scrape all the cheese and sauce off the slice and eat only the bread.

Finally, number 3 who wouldn't eat a casserole or lasagna or spaghetti becuase all the food was touching each other will now walk into a Japanese restaurant and order raw fish with gusto.

Michelle

Here's what I learned about food this week. My first is a carbetarian. Didn't know that existed but, according to my 7 year old, she is one. Enjoys all forms of carbs - except pasta. My second (two minutes younger) thinks hamburger is wonderful, but needs the edges cut off because they are too crusty. My third will only eat pork. Odd, given that we're Jewish, but hey, we'll go with it. She's a bacon lover and I watched her eat 8 slices the other morning. This is a 4 1/2 year old who weighs in at 30 lbs. My fourth - she'll chew anything. But very little gets swallowed. Odd.

Swistle

"Discussing the plight of the working poor"! "...right up until they were slaughtered to make bacon for me"! "Socially enlightened" bacon! "One could say the answer lies in eating less bacon"! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Amma Always

I learned that when I am out to dinner with the other matriarchs of my clan, listening and laughing and talking (while covertly admiring my baby granddaughter) I can eat an unconscionable amount of food, and not even notice! Yum. And that my daughter, who inherited her picky genes from me, now eats mushrooms. Gagghhh!

The tiny green haystack - must be Raphi's.

Leanne

I learned that flax has more estrogen-mimicing compounds in it than soy (which I've been avoiding for a while). So, there goes one of the things I've been patting myself on the back for eating a lot of, because it's HEALTHY. Or, was healthy. I thought.

So, I learned a second thing. When I omitted the ground flax seed from the smoothies that I made this morning, I was casting around for something virtuous to put in it's place...and I came up with (drumroll please)...swiss chard! Rinse, rip, whizzzzzzzzz...and it was delicious! The kids drank theirs down & asked for more (but I had already packed the rest in my lunch kit - bwahahaha, always leave them wanting more!)

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