Tonight I made pasta with artichoke hearts and bacon for dinner, and the bacon was the "healthy" kind of bacon - all nitrate free and made from "welfare considerate pork." Which makes me think of a bunch of pigs, all hunkered down in their mud, intensely discussing the plight of the working poor. But that is NOT what it means. It means that the pigs were happy and carefree and treated well...right up until they were slaughtered to make bacon for me. I had bought the bacon during a fit of conscience when I was at the health-food store, and it had worried me from the fridge ever since. I was sure it would taste awful, because the last time I tried healthy bacon, it tasted like...something healthy. And really, there is no reason in this world to eat bacon that doesn't make your eyes roll back in your head a little. So for years I've been slowly killing my family with unhealthy bacon that doesn't even care about the working poor, and every time I tossed a pound of that callous death in my shopping cart, I would feel bad, yet whine in my head but the other stuff tastes ICKY.
My point is that I finally bought the good, socially enlightened kind of bacon and it tasted great. Really. I liked it better than the thick-cut, nitrate-rich kind I usually get. So if you've been killing your family slowly too, out of fear of the taste left in the void of nitrates, FEAR NOT THE HEALTHY BACON.
Of course, there is still the fact that it costs twice as much. One could say the answer lies in eating less bacon, but then again one could say WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? STOP IT WITH THE CRAZY TALK.
And yes, my children LOVE pasta with artichoke hearts and bacon, which actually means that they love pasta and bacon. And they pick out the artichoke hearts, gagging a little, and put them on their dad's plate. Such sophisticated palates, I know. Some of them even gingerly pluck out the small bits of sage and make tiny green haystacks of them.
Anyhow, my bacon epiphany may not be all that fascinating, but it left me feeling all successful and welfare considerate and surrounded by children who won't eat artichoke hearts, so I thought I would share my insight with you.
Now it's YOUR TURN. Enlighten me. Tell me what you learned this week. Or at least assure me your kids are food weirdos too.