The constant is change
I was sweeping, and a small Lego brick skittered across the floor, dislodged by my broom. I bent down to pick it up, sighing. I wiped dust off the glossy blue surface and looked at it. It was one of the tiny ones, a single dot on top for wedging in the bottom of another brick. It was one of the legion that lurks in every corner of my house.
I thought about the Legos in the couch, and under the couch. Legos lined up on the ledge, waiting to be taken back downstairs where they live. A Lego that turned up, inexplicably, in the silverware basket of the dishwasher. Legos on the piano.There will ALWAYS be Legos, I thought.
Of course, I know that's not true. There are so many things that I thought were fixtures in our lives, that are simply gone. Once upon a time Tre was obsessed with paper airplanes, and behind every piece of furniture you could find at least one hoop-nosed scooter. Today our home is entirely paper airplane free. It wasn't that long ago that Max persisted in bringing in ants - just carrying around a single, tiny black ant, that would inevitably be left orphaned in the bathroom sink, or on the kitchen table. I despaired of ever convincing him to leave the ants outside, but today I never even think about it. I asked him about it the other day, if he remembered when he was four and carried ants into the house, and he looked at me like I'd lost my mind. And so it goes. In the last few years, in barely a breath of time, Jennie has gone from a reserved, suspicious, softly rounded little girl to a long, lean woman, with a nearly adult sense of graciousness and joy. The never ending Shooperman phase of Raphael's is barely a memory now. One day soon all the boys will be done with Legos, and I will forget that they were ubiquitous. Ubrickuitous.
I feel like I finally get it, I finally understand what those women were always trying to tell me in the grocery store when I was a brand new mom. They would lean in and coo at Tre (and usually call him a girl, because if you have hair and long eyelashes, you are obviously a girl, even if your mom has dressed you in blue overalls). And then they would look at me intensely, maybe even grip my arm, and say,
"ENJOY this. It goes so fast.
I'd nod and smile and promise I would, but in my head I was thinking, pssht. Walk a mile in my soggy nursing bra, honey. This is endless.
But of course, it was not. And in the span of minutes, those days have twined and melted into thin air, and my tiny perfect baby not-a-girl is now a teen, breathing down the neck of adulthood, and I get it. These endless days really are made out of smoke, and although I can't keep a grip on them I have to watch.
However, as it turns out...
There will be Legos for a little while longer.
GREAT, I love Legos!
Posted by: clay | August 12, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you and Clay and your kids.
Posted by: Sarah | August 12, 2008 at 11:12 PM
Kira, Congratulations!!!!! WOW! I am just so tickled for you!! I hope you are feeling well, not too queasy! The boys and Clay must be so excited! Yaaayy!!
Now that I've expressed my own excitement for you, I feel I should introduce myself - you see, I am a long time reader of your blog (I found you through Mir (or maybe Joshilyn) about 2 years ago, and I've read and enjoyed your archived posts as well) but even though I've come close on several occasions, I've never left a comment. (I know - I'm sorry!) I simply don't comment on blogs generally, even though I am absolutely devoted to reading them. I think it's because I generally feel overwhelmed all the time, and composing a nice post seems like more than I can do, since I generally read blogs as brief breaks from mothering my own FOUR rascally boys. I have enjoyed your stories so much, and I feel like I relate to you in many ways. I, too, have a 13 year old son (Sean)(his birthday was in June), so your tales about Tre really hit home for me. I also have a 9 year old son (Evan), a 5 year old son (Ian), and my youngest son (Owen) turns 3 tomorrow (13th). I currently live in Austin, TX but I spent 6 years in Colorado - Louisville, Longmont, and Lyons, so I enjoy hearing about the Colorado weather and events.
I have really enjoyed and learned from reading about you and your beautiful family. Your love and devotion to them shines through in your excellent writing, and your stories often bring a tear to my eye - even the happy ones - since I am at a similar place in my mothering. I apologize for being a selfish and silent lurker, and I'll try to participate more in the future so I can give back to the community here.
Again, many congratulations, and good wishes to you, Clay, and all the boys! Maybe you'll join me in the very exclusive "Mothers of Four Boys Club" - I'm happy here, but it's really difficult as well. Sorry for the really long comment, but I guess I felt like I owed it to you! =)
Julie
Posted by: Julie | August 12, 2008 at 11:15 PM
COngratulations!!!! I had to come out of lurking to say that :0)
Posted by: C | August 13, 2008 at 12:39 AM
Congratulations! (Another lurker scurries back behind the couch...with the Legos.)
Posted by: Kim | August 13, 2008 at 01:18 AM
joining the cast of lurkers who are delurking to say "whoohoo! congrats!"
Posted by: janet | August 13, 2008 at 01:54 AM
How wonderful. Congratulations to all of you!
Posted by: Loth | August 13, 2008 at 02:51 AM
Oh! Yay!
Lurker congratulations from me, too.
Woo!
Posted by: stephanie | August 13, 2008 at 04:58 AM
Oh Wow! Congrats. I hope that you are feeling well.
And thanks for the reminder to cherish right now.
Posted by: Crisanne | August 13, 2008 at 05:36 AM
HOOOOOOOOOOORAY! Now I can tell everyone, right? RIGHT??
Oh, there will be Legos. And maybe even POLLY POCKETS! That's a fresh circle of hell you haven't experienced yet! (This is why you love me. I'm so positive and uplifting!)
Posted by: Mir | August 13, 2008 at 05:41 AM
Woooohoooo!!!
I am SOOO happy for you!!
Posted by: Jensgalore | August 13, 2008 at 06:22 AM
WOW!!!! I am so excited for you!
Congratulations to all of you, and I'm lol at the comment from Mir - Polly Pockets are indeed another circle of hell.
Posted by: Carmen | August 13, 2008 at 06:26 AM
Oooo, maybe it will be a girl. Then again, maybe another boy! In either case, you guys win.
Congratulations.
Posted by: hollygee | August 13, 2008 at 06:32 AM
CONGRATULATIONS! I can't remember if I've ever commented - but I have read every single word that you have written on this here blog :)
XOXOXO
Posted by: Isabel | August 13, 2008 at 06:45 AM
WOO WOO! I am adding my congrats to the list...
Posted by: kim | August 13, 2008 at 06:47 AM
Congratulations! (And what a neat way to break the news, too. Very smooth!)
I always loved Legos. I still have a bin of them in the basement, though I have no kids and turn 40 in October. I just love the possibilities.
Posted by: ccr in MA | August 13, 2008 at 06:56 AM
Oh Kira! Yay! Congratulations from a very jealous lurker.
:)
Posted by: Megan | August 13, 2008 at 07:12 AM
If William is to be believed, there will always be Legos. His career goal is to be a professional Lego collector. Right now he's still just an amateur.
And I had the opposite experience--a bald girl dressed all in pink, being taken for a boy. Love you!
Posted by: Groovecatmom | August 13, 2008 at 07:28 AM
My arm would be doing the "Yes!" pump in the air, except that Arwen told me a week ago and I did it then. Congratulations!!
Posted by: Salome Ellen | August 13, 2008 at 07:56 AM
Another lurker to say Congratulations!!
And - I miss the Legos and Polly Pockets!! I miss being a SAHM!! My kids are now 25 and 23, so those days are pretty much a hazy memory now. I saved lots of the Legos and Polly Pockets for grandchildren, but really, I can wait a while for that.
Posted by: Cheryl | August 13, 2008 at 07:56 AM
Add me to the lurker list. CONGRATS! How exciting that I get to lurk through a pregnancy lol :)
Posted by: H.E.Eigler | August 13, 2008 at 08:20 AM
Oh my gosh! Congratulations!!!
EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Posted by: Aimee | August 13, 2008 at 08:27 AM
A baby!!! How exciting!!! CoNgRaTuLAtIoNs!!!!
Posted by: Tracy | August 13, 2008 at 08:35 AM
Yippie!!! I am so looking forward to your stories of warm baby scented head nuzzles with another one. I wish you all the best - congratulations from the bottom of my heart.
As a side note Kira, you know me very distantly, although I do have the honor of being the subject of one of your blogs (the very pregnant lady at the dog park over a year and a half ago who "hearts" you), but I have to tell you just how honored I feel to be allowed to be a part of your life, however stalker-ish it makes me feel at times. You have such a beautiful talent for story telling, for bringing the reader into your magical world and for painting such realistic word pictures.
As a mom to a very independent and marvelous little boy of 16 months, I love to look back at your older posts and glean little bits of advice and sanity from your experiences. You are like a resource book for me, and I can't thank you enough for being the "friend you don't know you are" to me.
So, again, congratulations on your news. God bless you and your marvelous family always!!
Posted by: Christine | August 13, 2008 at 08:39 AM
Ahahahahaha! Such GREAT news! I am so happy for you!
(And I hope you are feeling okay.)
Posted by: Arwen | August 13, 2008 at 08:44 AM