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April 01, 2008

The love of my life...AND death

The other night Clay and I were watching a movie, and at the end there was a note, saying that the couple in the movie were married for thirty some years, and when she died, he died four months later.

"Awwww, honey," I sighed, "did you see that? He LOVED her."

"Mmm-hmmm," said Clay, as he rooted around in the bathroom cabinet for the floss.

"You'd do that, right?"

"Do what, now?" He was walking past me, floss in one hand, on his way to let the dog out.

"You'd die." He stopped at the door, and turned to look at me.

"You mean, like to save your life?"

"Well, duh, then. No, what I meant was when we're old and the kids are grown and gone, if I die first, you'll die within a few months. Right? What with the broken heart and all."

"How am I supposed to know if I'd DIE?"

"DO YOU LOVE ME?"

"You know I love you."

"Then why wouldn't you DIE?"

He sighed and disappeared into the garage. When he returned I was in full-on pout.

"WHAT?" As if he didn't know.

"I'D die if YOU died."

"Suicide is wrong."

"I'm not TALKING about suicide. My heart would just...wind down, like a clock that no one winds anymore. Life would hold no interest. Food would be sawdust in my mouth, and the sunrise would look like a paint-by-number picture. Unpainted."

"Wow."

"And then I would die." I sank back against the cushions of the couch, to illustrate. Then rolled my head his direction, opened one eye and prompted, "and you? If I should die first?"

"Fine, I would die."

"Within three months? Four, tops?"

"Probably."

"Do you PROMISE?"

He leaned against the wall and looked at me. Clay is not one to make frivolous promises. He means what he says, by golly, and that is not a quality to be relinquished lightly. Despite my dramatic plea, he knew this was not a promise he could actually make, logically.

On the other hand, if he didn't promise I would keep convincing him, and he wanted to go to sleep.

"Fine. I promise."

I beamed.

"You LOVE me!"

"I believe I already said that."

And then he walked away, shaking his head. He muttered something that sounded sort of like "I cannot BELIEVE I just promised to die," but I'm sure it was actually, "OH HOW I LOVE THAT BRIDE OF MINE."

He's so blessed to have me. Alive.

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Quotable


  • I discovered a long time ago that writing of the small things of the day, the trivial matters of the heart, the inconsequential but near things of this living, was the only kind of creative work which I could accomplish with any sincerity or grace. - E.B. White

  • I felt that I was packaging something as delicately pervasive as smoke, one box after another, in that room, where my only duty was to describe reality as it had come to me – to give the mundane its beautiful due. -John Updike
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