I have to admit it's getting better all the time

Years ago, when my first marriage was disintegrating, I went to a counselor, Kevin. Actually, we were originally going together, for couples counseling, but one day we had a huge blowup in the waiting room. Kevin saw us separately, and when it was my turn he told me that I needed to make some decisions, but his opinion was that the boys and I were not safe, living with my husband.

Thank God for Kevin.

Sometimes you just need to hear the right words from the right person at the right time. I drove straight home, packed up his things, and put them out in the car port while my friend Amy held Raphael and listened to me rant (and hyperventilate).

I was so stunned by the turn my life had taken that I moved through my days on autopilot. I kept going to see Kevin because every time I was there I made another appointment. As it turns out, this was a very good thing. At the time it wasn't really a choice I made, but just what happened. Those days I was just putting one foot in front of the other.

One day, during a session with Kevin, he told me, "You know, things WILL get better."

"Right. Ok."

"I promise."

I shrugged. It wasn't that I disbelieved him, it's just that it was too much work to try and imagine.

"Ok, fine."

When I left that day, Kevin handed me one of his business cards. On the back he had written in his messy scrawl, "Things will get better." I took it with me, shoved it in a compartment in the van, and forgot about it.

Years later I found it there, between two sticky cassettes of kid's songs. When I read those words, I shook my head in wonder. After all this time, it turns out that Kevin was right. Things got so, so much better.

I hadn't even met Clay yet.

When I cleaned out the van last September, after the accident, I found the card. I shoved it in a bag with the rest of the detritus and brought it home. Somehow the bag ended up in the laundry room, and has been slowly disgorging its contents ever since.

Recently Clay was doing a project in the laundry room, and he must have come across the card. Today I went down there and I saw, propped on top of the hot water heater,  this:

I stood there a long time, thinking back, comparing then to now.

Maybe it's the season, growing things all around me, new-bought seeds on the counter, compost under my fingernails. Everything seems so hopeful in the spring. But I couldn't help but think that it was true. For so long, things kept getting better.

And even though I can't imagine better than today...

 

...there is always something to hope for on the way.

Happy Love Thursday, everybody.

Comments

[Janet]

What an amazing story, thank you for sharing! Sometimes, it's good to be reminded of this.

[ccr in MA]

Go, Kevin. He sounds like he was a good person to be there for you. (I wonder where he is now?) And a good philosophy, too!

[ursula]

I wish everyone could have a Kevin! I'm so glad you did when you needed it.

I've always reminded myself that when I feel like I've hit rock bottom, just look up. When you're at the bottom, there's no where else to go.

Happy LT

[Jen]

Thank you for this wonderful story. I think you should print it off and send it to Kevin. It will surely make his day!

[Phillip Sdao]

Did you know, that there is a anime(japanese cartoon) series about a serial killer named kira( kira which if said the right way kind of sounds like killer). Its kind of like this witty mystery. Well if your curious you can email me at siegemaster02@gmail.com.

[Amma Always]

I wonder how many times in your life that little card will reappear?

Remember when your motto was "Life is hard, God is good". Not a bad motto.

[Rachael Obermeyer]

Wow, you know the life seems to get the better of a person. And then they read this and it puts so many things into focuss. This is an awsome thing to be reading. Thank you Kira.
Love much.