Hey, I got DOUBLE TAGGED last week. Sheri hit me with one, and then Mir followed up with the seven sevens meme. SO! Here goes NOTHING!
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago I was up to my eyebrows in the heady joy of being Tre’s mom. Somehow, the mothering of one little infant took up the whole of my days. I would look at the clock and be startled to see it was 3pm and I still wasn’t dressed. It was bliss. Yes, yes, it was also exhausting and overwhelming and blah blah, but I loved it. I wish I could go back, sometimes, to the simplicity of those days.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
One year ago I was falling in love with Clay. I would speak to him on the phone at night, then hang up and scurry online to talk about him with Mir.
“I think he’s it,” I told her. “I think he’s The One.”
“I know.” She said.
Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Dove dark chocolates. You know, they have extra antioxidants. Which is really, truly my motivation. Heh.
2. Popcorn. Microwave popcorn, with powdered sugar on it. Um…are there any antioxidents in that?
3. Roasted almonds
4. Can I have more chocolate now?
5. Raisin bran. The other night I was playing Scrabble with Clay, and I discovered I was HUNGRY. I asked him to get me a bowl of raisin bran, and he looked at me like I might be a little crazy. I ask you, is raisin bran THAT strange a snack? Feel free to answer, especially if you agree with me that it is a fine and comforting snack, which I needed that particular night, as Clay went on to beat me in Scrabble by something stinging like 4 points.
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Good Hearted Man (Tift Merritt)
2. Brave and Crazy (Melissa Etheridge)
3. Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered
4. Bob the Builder Theme Song (both as originally performed for the cartoon, and in the odd, tuneless way Max used to sing it when he was three)
5. Joy To The World! Both of them!
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Lots of stupid, frivolous things at a medi-spa
2. Pay Mom not to work at the job she currently doesn’t work at.
3. Talk Clay into quitting work so he could hang around the house A LOT.
5. I don’t know – WHAT? Spend lots of money, right? That’s what you do with the stuff, right? It wouldn’t change the fact that my children can’t hit the toilet when they pee, or that my cat just horked a hair ball up on the carpet right outside my bedroom door. Life would go on, but I would have to worry about whether or not the accountant was running off with all my money. I NEVER have to worry about that now. Except it would be pretty cool, having Clay around all the time. Rrrrowlll.
Five bad habits:
1. Reading the newspaper with fervered devotion every morning. This causes me to bark at innocent, wide-eyed children, “NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE THE FUNNIES. GO PLAY.”
2. Reading blogs when I should be sweeping the floor…or really doing ANYTHING productive.
3. Putting off tasks that intimidate me, tralala, I shall think of that later, until they STRIKE ME WITH DREAD at 2AM. Nothing can be dealt with at 2AM.
4. Lying to perfectly nice women, just to see them blanch. The other day this ADORABLE mother of three boys, ages 7, 4, and 18 months old, asked me with tremulous voice,
“Do you…have the problem…well…do your boys ever BICKER?” I looked at her with SHOCK, with HORROR, touched my chest lightly with my fingertips, as though to calm my heart, and said soberly,
“Oh dear me, NO. We emphasise RESPECT and KINDNESS in our family.”
And then of course I apologized and confessed the truth (Yes, dear, but they only fight from when they WAKE UP until their eyes close at night. Not a moment longer) and apologized again. Fortunately she thought it was ALMOST as funny as I did. Heh.
5. Driving too slow.
Five things you like doing:
4. Smelling Clay’s neck
5. Reading in a hot bath
Five things you would never wear, buy, or get new again:
1. Low-rise pants. I don’t CARE if everyone else is wearing them, or even if they’re supposedly flattering. I’m tired of yanking my pants up everytime I stand up. And my underwear is nobody’s business, thankyouverymuch.
3. Panty hose. Ok, ok, that’s not true, but I HATE THEM. Control-top? THE WORK OF THE DEVIL, and do you want to know why? Because no matter how small a woman you are, that waist band will give you tummy roll, and tummy roll looks good on NO WOMAN. Take a perfectly beautiful womanly form, and BIND it right there in the middle, and you ruin, RUIN the aesthetic. I actually bought a pair of panty hose the other day in size Queen, even though the chart on the box suggested I go with size A, hoping that the waistband would be big enough for, you know, A WAIST. I swear to you, I SWEAR TO YOU, that waist band was no more than eight inches across. Stupid panty hose.
4. Glamour magazine. Seriously. I thought I was too old to blush like that.
5. Dulce de leche ice cream.
I totally WILL buy it again. But it’s not a good idea.
Five favorite toys:
1. My laptop (pauses to pet and coo)
2. *whine* this is making me think too hard.
3. Clay’s biceps
4. Wire-edged ribbon
5. I CAN’T THINK OF ONE MORE. What does this MEAN? What does it SAY about me? Has the joy gone out of my life? Have I lost touch with my child-like side? Or is it getting late and am I TIRED OF THINKING ABOUT ME ME ME?
Yeah, that last one, that’s it. I’ll have to do the seven sevens tomorrow.